It started with a text

I can’t remember if I’ve written about this before or not, but I’m honestly too lazy right now to bother with going back to look so you get the story anyway. Luck you, right? It’s a good one, I promise. I’ve been sitting around thinking, which is never a good thing, but tonight it was. I’ve been thinking about life, how I got to where I am today. How life with my man and this relationship is now. What it might be like in the future. Will my family every accept this? Just everything running through my head, the good and the bad, and then I started thinking…what started this amazing bond and love we share. It started with a text.

I used to see him sitting at his desk when I would pass by, those bright blue eyes, they got my attention right away. So caring, but so sad. I could see it hidden back there, deep sadness and hurt. He always seems so happy and caring for others but those eyes told a different story, one his heart hid. I just had this desire I cannot explain, to make him happy. I wanted those eyes to smile with the rest of him.

It wasn’t long before my miserable life kicked in and he caught me in tears. I tried to hide them but it was impossible, I was crying too hard. Family was killing me, the boyfriend was controlling and demanding, and people at work had started their toll early. Everything became too much and I broke at the wrong time and even worse, he walked in on it. He didn’t say anything then, just left me to myself knowing I was embarrassed. I respected that because no one ever wants to get involved, but so desperately needed someone.

Then the next day I got a text. That’s where it started, with an innocent text asking if I was better. I lied but I think he knew that. Every so often I’d get a text making sure I was doing okay but each day the texts started to grow. We started talking about more things, deeper things. We started talking about my family, I finally told him about them. How my dad beat me, my mom yelled every bad thing about me she could, my sister did a combination of both. He didn’t know what to say. No one ever does. We talked about everything in life. And we started talking all the time. He had become one of my best friends and some of my friends were hating that, especially the boyfriend that was treating me so bad.

Then I left, for a whole week. On vacation with that stupid boyfriend. 16 hour flight away, several time zone changes, and our communication was cut off. He still had to work and I was on different hours. How do I tell him about my days? How do I stay in touch with the man I was growing so fond of, especially when my “boyfriend” was treating me so horrible? E-mail of course! At the end of the day, every single day, I wrote him an e-mail. Told him of my events, both good and bad. Make sure he knew I was alive and in one piece. He woke up every single morning to a nice long e-mail and plenty of pictures from vacation. He liked that.

While on that trip, he now admits, that is when he fell in love with me. For me, I think I can say the same. He had so much concern that I was having a good time, but reminded me how much he missed me and couldn’t wait till I came back. I felt the same way! I couldn’t wait to see him again! I just was dying without him and I think the boyfriend knew it. I’m not sure you would call him a “boyfriend” at this time though because we were already pretty much over and I found out later on that he had another girl the whole time.

Anyway, we returned. And upon that return, I got the biggest hug I had ever gotten in my whole life! And even better…I got a kiss. A kind and gentle kiss to my forehead. My favorite kiss. One kiss to the forehead is worth 1000 kisses else where. I will always love those. And that’s when it happened, that’s when I started to fall for this man. I was scared, did he feel the same? Of course he did, I could hear it in his e-mails back while I was on vacation. So where do we go from here? What next? I left that up to time.

Time took care of the rest. I ditched the controlling boyfriend and my man was right there to help me through that. Our feelings grew stronger, but we still stayed friends. He would hold me, listen to me, help me, let me cry when I needed…he was everything I needed in life. Then one day it happened. I was talking to him and he just had this look in his eyes, so full of love. Those eyes were finally smiling, I loved that. Then he kissed me. Gently. Right on the lips. He did it so quickly, right before I left, I didn’t know what to do or what to think. But I liked it. And I wanted me.

Life with my man started with a text, turned into friendship, then developed into companionship. He is my best friend above all else and my lover next. I don’t want to lose him, I can’t! But I have this horrible ache when it comes to my family. Will they every accept this? I seriously doubt it. But what does it matter? It’s not their choice, it’s not their concern. If I’m being treated like a lady, respected, taken care of, put my needs above his, protected, and I’m happy, what does it matter? It shouldn’t. Isn’t that what everyone wants for their child? I don’t have kids yet, but that is what I would want for mine. Whatever makes them happy, then I will be happy.

I would have never guessed myself in an age gap relationship, but that’s exactly where I am and I couldn’t be more happy with it! He’s my man! And I don’t want anything to take that away!

For now…off to bed because my man and I are off to geocache tomorrow! : ) That and riding my dirtbike are the two things that make me happy in life. My dirtbike gives me something I can’t explain…my mind is always racing, always moving, but when I get on my bike everything stops. I can think about just that one thing, no thoughts, no ideas, just riding. Freedom from my mind! Now…if I could just find a damn truck so I could actually go riding…my next goal! Oh, and on a side note…my man is totally cool with having little badass dirtbike kids like their mommy! : )

Secrets of Happy Couples

A friend sent me this and I decided I’d share it. She knows about my age gap relationship and also knows it can be hard because people don’t approve. We’ve discussed how it works for me and how happy I am and she agrees all the time that she can see it. She sent this to share, ways to keep us happy and I think we’re doing a pretty good job so far. The toughest part for us, is the comments and negativity from outside the relationship but we do out best to ignore it and move on. We both know why we’re in this relationship and it’s no one else’s business.

Secrets of Super-Happy Couples
Twelve ways to keep your relationship thriving.

1. Fall in love all over again. Make a conscious decision to be in love. The more you act as if you are in love, the more you will feel like you are.

2. Remember the good times. Treat your partner like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Make a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing together and add any new fantasies to the list. Plan for them and make them happen.

3. Help your partner feel more loved and secure in your love so that he or she can open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged. Compliment, praise, give a hug. Small gestures make the grandest statements.

4. Don’t make unilateral decisions. You’re a team in many ways, so act like one. Check in and make decisions together about things large and small. Be willing to compromise.

5. Be present. Train your mind to stay in the moment — not at work, thinking about the new color you want to paint your kitchen, or how it’s time to take the dog to the vet.

6. Pay attention to your physical appearance. Take the time to stay in shape and look good for each other. It does matter.

7. Boost your compatibility. Couples in crisis focus on all the ways they are different, whereas those who are in love zero in on their similarities and think their differences are cute. Build compatibility by taking turns planning activities to do together. If you don’t like your partner’s choice, don’t complain; it’s your turn next.

8. Do not place blame. Replace blame and criticism with solutions and tenderness. Problem-solve together — sit close, hold hands, touch each other’s face or hair. Be playful. When was the last time you laughed together? Rent a comedy movie to tickle your funny bone.

9. Plan for sex. Spontaneity is great but smart couples know that good sex doesn’t just happen. Like everything else, it takes time and planning.

10. Fact-find — don’t mind-read. You may think you know but you can’t assume. You may believe he should know, but that’s not fair, either. Always clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings to make sure they don’t throw you both off course.

11. Fight fair — and by appointment only. Schedule a limited time to discuss a problem and confine your comments to that issue only. It’s easier to relax and feel free to enjoy each other when you know you won’t be ambushed by a litany of complaints and criticisms.

12. Prepare for checkouts. Even in the closest marriage, everyone needs time alone. Don’t take it personally and don’t make each other feel guilty if you need to spiritually and emotionally regroup. Just be sure to tell each other when you are checking out (max, one day) — and when you’re checking back in.

Vacation, it’s all I ever needed!

Thursday thru Sunday of this week I am going camping, kayaking, and fishing in a section that has zero cell service and I am beyond excited!! I can’t wait to escape from this world! My mother has been extra pissy lately, apparently divorcing my dad didn’t solve all her problems like she had hoped. She’s been screaming at me to do all kinds of work before I leave while my 21 year old, never had a job, failed out of a community college brother sits playing Call of Duty…just bullshit in my opinion, but whatever, her house her rules.

On Mother’s Day my OM came over and we cooked dinner for my mom. She was in a hurry and didn’t really show her appreciate for the food, which is normal for both my parents, part of why I never bother doing anything for them. My OM noticed this too and we had a discussion when we were able to sneak away for a few minutes. We both think that my mom is just not saying anything about us, that she knows what’s going on, but hopes it passes. That seems to be here attitude, like if she ignores it, it’ll go away…sorry mom, this isn’t going away…in fact, our plans are to make it permanent one day. I guess we’ll see where life takes us..

Anyway, just wanted to advise you that I’m tired, have to work 24 hours starting very early in the morning, I just got off work, and I’m leaving for a few days after all of this. Expect more posts when I get back. Thanks for reading my useless ramble. : )

 

Oh Shit! Now What?!

My mother goes flying past my friend and I. I send her the following message.

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I then take a screen shoot and send it to my man telling him to give her hell for texting and driving. He does.

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Shortly after I get the following message from my mother…oh shit!

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Which I also share with my man!

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Ever experience a mini heart attack…? It’s about like that for a second. So I guess we can stop pretending and breaking the family in slowly is working quit well because they have no objection… ; )

Questions and More

I get asked often what it’s like being in an age gap relationship. Was I always into older men? What makes older guys attractive to me? Why not find someone my age? Do I feel like I’m missing out on life? These are all good questions and I am going to address them here.

First, let’s get something straight here about my relationship that has been stated before. It wasn’t planned, I did not go looking for someone 24 years older than me. No, I’m not “into the older guys” as some people like to put it, once again it just happened. I was looking for nothing more than a friend and I found one, a great one, that developed into something more. If I had to do it all over again I wouldn’t change a thing. So to get things straight, I’m not “into older men” I just happen to be in love with one.

As for what makes older guys attractive to me…well, honestly…nothing. I’m not attracted to older guys, I never saw myself in such a big age gap relationship. No, let’s not mix things up here, my older man is attractive and doesn’t look his age, but I’m not after older guys. I’m expecially not after them for money or a place to live or anything like that, I’m doing quit well on my own. I am with him because he makes me happy, completes me, loves me, cares for me, and we’re just perfect together.

Some people have asked why I don’t find someone my age…been there, done that. Guys my age are good in some respects, but they just aren’t mature enough for me. I’ve always been extremely mature for my age, and thought I can act like a kid and have fun, I’m still very grown up and take responsibility seriously. This also does not mean I’m after older guys all the time, it just means I’m extremely happy with where I am right now and don’t plan on going anywhere.

When it comes to “missing out on life,” well there’s no question there, I’m not missing out on a thing. If anything I get to do and see more, experience more, and he shows me more. He’s been around, so he knows a thing or two about life and things around us, it’s always a good adventure with him! If he has done something before that I haven’t, well he loves to experience it for the first time with me and he loves watching me experience it for the first time.

There are things I’ve done and he hasn’t, just like there are obviously things he’s done that I haven’t. Such as float trips and kayaking…he got me into that and I love it! I got to experience it first time with him. I can’t get away from my dirtbike, I love it too much and I got him into riding 4-wheelers, which he loves. So no, I’m not missing out on anything.

I know one day he will slow down, but for now we are just enjoying life the best we can and taking each day at a time. When that time comes for me to care for him, I’m ready. He’s always caring for me so much, it’s time I care for him. For me life is all about giving and I’m ready to give my life to him.