My Week, Summarized

Well, this week has been good and bad so far. Starting from the beginning…

My mom has been on me about paying more rent. First, I couldn’t pay even if I wanted to! I can’t even buy myself food and gas money, let alone pay rent and other bills! Her reason for this is, “I know many 18 year olds paying rent.” Yea, me too and they either dropped out of school because they didn’t feel like going or they moved out! Fucking get over it bitch! She doesn’t care that I’m not working, she never cares, “grow up and deal with it” is how she “handles” shit. So I sent her a text that said my shit will be gone by the weekend, boy that did go over well!

She fucking FLIPPED out! “I’m not the bitch you make me out to be!” No mom, you make yourself out to be one just fucking fine! “I hope when you have kids they stab you in the heart like this!” Wrong again, I won’t treat my kids like the dirt you walk in! She just acts like she’s so fucking wonderful and the best fucking mom around! She’s a two faced fucking whore! Yes! I called my mother that and don’t you even judge me! You don’t know the hell I have been through!

Basically, I’m not moving out yet because she needs someone here to care for her damn dog! Oh and my “ass can fucking clean the house a little more!” Yea…so glad she can’t fucking pay attention in her drunkenness! Ugh! I clean EVERY FUCKING DAY! Sure glad she can pay attention! I’m always cleaning up after her and her drunk ass friends! It’s like living with a bitch of a roommate that can’t fucking pick up after herself! And I’m not even lying when I say this…she has gone out drinking EVERY NIGHT for the past THREE WEEKS! So, no I will NOT be paying rent to YOU to support YOUR habit! I’m moving the fuck out!

I tested for one job this past weekend, I will know more about that one this Friday or Saturday. I’m doubting I’ll get it given the competitiveness of the test, the process, and my lack of the full training that several there had, but we shall see. Next, yesterday I test and interviewed for another job. It’s quit a drive, pay is low, but it’s work…and guess what…I GOT IT! : ) I’m pretty excited! Rarely do people that aren’t well known down there get a job! Actually, they go off the “word of mouth” theory, people who live there get hired there, I’m their first “outsider”! How fucking awesome! I really like the people there too so this is freaking sweet!

My man came down with the “man cold” two days ago! And I’m sure you all know what I’m talking about! He’s dying, planning his funeral and all! Haha He doesn’t even have a fever, but damn it’s deadly! I love that man though! I wanted to go care for him, but he told me not to come over, that I can’t afford getting sick with this class. He never gets sick and I feel bad for him but he refuses me to come over so I left some soup for him at the door on my way through and that’s been it. Just a lot of FaceTime visits for now. Maybe tomorrow he will be well enough because I need someone to help me study!!

Other than that, just studying my ass off! Big test for class on Friday, just wanted to share my news. Have a great week! And I promise I read you blogs, despite me not responding much right now. Keep writing.

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Search and Rescue

This may not have been the “week from hell” but thanks to my mother it was pretty damn close! What a bitch!! And before you question me, I have spent years of abuse and if you ask any of her friends, they will tell you what they told, my parents should not be allowed to have me. But that is a story you can’t find if you read back, sharing it now only makes me angry.

This week I tested for a job, one that I am not likely to get, being a girl and not have a $5000 piece of paper that says u attended “their” training, though my training is the same because it all resulted in state certification. It’s hard to explain but a total pain in the ass. Over 150 people tested!! Yes, a lot!!! An only the top 30 move to the next of a 4 step process. I doubt I did we’ll enough, but well see in a few weeks.

After all that, I joined my man on a road trip. I was in a bad mood, which was entirely my mothers fault, again! I apologized and he took me to a few caches along the way. That helped, until we got to our destination. Then the people hiding the caches had me worked up more. One of them cheated to get their cache published.

It was our first stop, a cache that has yet to be found. The coordinates put you in the middle of a field, literally!! So after an hour search of the nearest trees, we got nothing. E-mailed the cacher owner only to get a message back later that read: “I know the coordinates are off, I had to do that to get it published because it fell too close to another cache.” WFT?! Seriously??? It’s an entire HUGE open section with PLENTY of areas to hide and you have to cheat???? Fuck you!

So we moved on to other caches there, all hidden by the same person, after two caches I said, “fuck this” and quit! I think you should be required so many finds before you can hide a cache. And you need to be slightly smarter than a fucking monkey! This person clearly had very little knowledge of caching! The first of their cache put me in the middle of a field between 3 sections of trees, all about 50 feet away! Ugh! After several searches, I found it on pure luck. Off to the next. Same damn thing! GPS put me in a damn field!!! Read the hint…the item that matches the hint is a good 75 feet or more away! Are you freaking kidding???? I posted a note that said, “This is the second of your caches I have tried today. I am not logging this as a DNF because I didn’t truly look, but I suggest you update your coordinate because ALL of them are off!”

I know, the GPS takes you to the general location then you search from there, but fuck! This wasn’t even getting me in a general location!!!! I’m not dealing with that every time. You’re coordinates need to be somewhat close! Damn!

So he took me home after that, held me tight for a while to calm me down from my mother. He also fed me, it was my first full meal in 2 days, and my stomach did not take to it well! I was SO sick! It was horrible!!

I spent today complete alone like a loser. I was not invited to any parties, my man had to work, and I was suppose to be studying. I’m getting really nervous for my next critical care test, which is this week! : ( I’m scared! Flipping out! I’m panicking!! I feel like I know nothing!! But right now I’m preparing for another test too! 3 in one week is just stupid!!!!

This week I test for another job. Yes, not including the last test, this is a whole different department. The pay sucks, the drive is far, but the people are nice and it beats hell job! So I’m trying! I won’t jinx myself, but the Assistant Chief seems to like me and I’m helping her study for this next test, let’s hope it is enough! I need something! Anything!!!

My aunt and uncle invited me on a cruise this summer. Problem is I need a buddy to go along, to make it cheaper, and I have none. My cousin suggested I take my man, but we know the family won’t like that. I have no friends, and none that are responsible with money to be able to afford it. Hell, I can’t afford it now anymore either! I’m bummed, it was going to be my escape, a time to relax, and instead I’m stuck here…in hell. Never an escape.

Sometimes the internet is a great search tool, other times not so much. This time not so much. I want to find search teams that work you a couple months out of the year, I would love to do this!! All the teams around me are volunteer only, which is great but I already volunteer and it takes money. Money I don’t have. You have to buy your own equipment, tools, uniform, lodging, gas, vehicle…everything you have to pay for. Can’t do that. So I would like to know, do you know of any? I think it would be a great experience! So let me know. I would love to do this!!

Bitch Strikes Again

I’m pissed! How’s that for a start?!

I’m suppose to take my first test tomorrow for this nightmare class and once again my fucking mother has to fuck my life up!! I’m sick of this shit!! She fucking knows I have a test! She has been going on lately about how I need to pay rent, which I’m not paying right now. Let’s discuss why this pisses me off.

N├║mero Uno – The bitch goes out drinking EVERY night! Yes! Every fucking night! Then bitches about how she “has no money” and I should be paying her rent money. I don’t fucking think so! I’m not supporting your drunk ass fucking habit! Don’t have any money? Quit fucking drinking!!! Duh!

Number Two – Her fucking comment tonight of, “it’s the least you can do since you don’t do anything else around her” is getting her no where! I don’t do anything else?!?! I work 5 fucking jobs AND go to school! Are you fucking serious?! I’m NEVER here! And when I am I’m stuck cleaning up after her and her drunk ass friends!! I get no sleep before work because they are up yelling and partying! I clean up after myself AND her! But I “don’t do anything”…bitch needs to learn some appreciation!!

Number Three – She’s a dirty, sneaky, lying ass bitch! Right after the divorce she was seeing someone, I don’t give a fuck if she saw him before. What pisses me the fuck off is I overheard the conversation then she told everyone to shut up right to my face so I wouldn’t know! Fucking hoe! You told the WHOLE FUCKING FAMILY about the divorce 6 MONTHS before you told your own children! Now it’s top fucking secret too that you are dating?!?

Number Four – Even if I wanted to pay rent, I can’t! I wasn’t expecting Chief Bitch to give me zero hours yet again! I can’t afford gas, food, or the shit I need for school. Your fucking rent check can wait!

Number Five – You don’t even know my fucking age you fucking drunk! Thanks for making me 2 years older than I am…I appreciate that. But if you’re excuse to make me pay rent is my age…well the least you can fucking do is get my age right! You don’t even know me! You don’t know a fucking thing about me!

I’d rather live on the streets than pay your bitch ass self a fucking dime! So fuck you! You’re getting ZERO money from me! And go ahead, try to take it out of my savings account, it won’t get you far! You see bitch, after I realize you stole $7,000 or more from me during my childhood, all that birthday money and paychecks never made it there, I emptied what was left and opened my own account! So fuck you!

Test Complete

So, I finished my test with 80 something questions, the last number I looked up and saw was 88. I think it’s a bad sign…I think I majorly failed! I would not be surprised at all if I did! It has the most retarded questions!! Words I’ve never seen and couldn’t even pronounce. Why the hell do they have to do that to people? Why trick people up so bad?? So you can make more money? The test is suppose to represent that you are a competent medic…I know plenty of people that have passed that stupid test and are shit out there! The test doesn’t do anything it says as far as proving you know your stuff. Seriously…I’m not becoming a doctor…I don’t need to know half the crap on the damn test! Yes, an understand of it is needed, but why the hell must you make an IMPOSSIBLE test over stupid shit we CAN’T use on an ambulance?! Ok, I’m done venting…for now. I’m not really too concerned about when my results will be posted because I already know I failed it, why bother posting it for me to see.

Due to this stupid test, I have not posted for a while, instead I have been preparing. Now that it’s over, it’s time for me to prepare some more…but in between that I am taking a little time to catch you up in my world.

This past weekend was my birthday and it was awesome! Friday night I went to dinner with a bunch of friends and had a blast! I got some toys too (my friends know me so well) and then just hung out. My awesome man was there and only two friends don’t know about us, so everyone else kept quiet, but it was great being able to have him there! He treated me really good to! Desert and all! : ) Then Saturday I got up early to head out shopping with my man. I hate shopping but I have no idea what I wanted for my birthday so he took me to look. I found nothing. Then we got ready, met a friend and picked up my cousins and headed to Supercross!!

Supercross usually falls on, or very close to, my birthday every year so I’m used to going and it has sort of becoming part of celebrating. This year it worked to my advantage. I got some extra autographs and goodies! : ) The races were awesome of course, but I was missing my favorite rider. Andrew Short is out with injury so I was a bit bummed. We saw a bad crash right in front of us in the lites class, one guy got his head ran over twice, but he got up and walked away. It was a lot of fun overall!

After all the fun was over, I got to prepare for the test and now I wait…

NREMT

I hate you! I think you are the WORST thing that ever happened to EMS!! Your stupid test makes me want to kill myself and I know I’m not the only person that feels this way! You’re test does NOT accurately represent if a person is┬ácompetent enough to be a paramedic because there are SO many people I know that can’t pass your damn test and would be EXCELLENT paramedics while all these stupid shits out there that got lucky and did pass the test can’t do shit! There are some really bad ones out there and they only have a license because they got lucky and passed your stupid ass test!!