What’s Your Secret?

It’s another Sunday and this time I won’t be spending it silent. I’m still having a rough time not having my man around and it’s even harder not being able to talk to him at all. : ( I need him back, bad!

Since it’s Sunday, that means PostSecret has been updated. Last night while checking the site, I came across this video and I really wanted to share. I was inspired by some of these people, one girl I really related to. One of the guys changed my thinking. It’s crazy how one small thing said can change everything. So watch it, enjoy, and then be brave…what is your secret? Besides, you’re completely anonymous here, right? That’s what blogging is all about, especially like this. No one knows me, why not share all?

Opinions Please…

Asking for a bit of help from anyone out there that reads the crap I write. I currently have two associates degrees with over 160 credit hours. Crazy, I know. When I switched to the Paramedic degree I was just one class away from my Liberal Arts so I finished that one, then while taking the Paramedic degree classes I took some Fire Science classes as well. So technically I have 2.5 degrees because I’m almost done with the Fire Science but I’m not going to finish it with the college. I get the training and certifications with my department, I don’t really need that associates since I already have two. Anyway, my reason for this blog…

What do I want to get my bachelor’s degree in? This is proving to be a tough decision. Originally I was going to get a management degree because I can use that to work my way up in my field but after thinking about it more…I don’t know. I LOVE my job! More than anything, but I want kids, a family…I don’t want to continue to work 5 jobs when that day comes. Don’t get me wrong, I love work, love all my jobs, but I don’t want to work my life away. Now, what to get my bachelor’s in…

When I first started applying for college my goal was to get into law school, I was crazy! Haha, but really, I’d love to do that now! However, I can’t afford that. I need someone that can put me through school and allow me to pay them back, either work it off now or after school…that’s never going to happen, just my dream land. I have also thought about becoming a doctor, same deal though…it takes money, something I don’t have much of. : ( I could see myself doing either one of these jobs, but the problem is paying for schooling and being able to afford the time off work to go though this…I need a rich friend or family member.

Some other options I have been thinking about include accounting (but my ADHD would really have to be controlled with this one), some kind of computer programming or designing (I’m very good with technology), engineering (I’m really good at math), or something hands on, I’m very good with my hands and love being challenged. One thing is for sure, whatever I pick I think I’d like to minor in writing, it’s something I have always thought about. See, the thing about my career right now is if I’m ever injured or hurt on the job, which happens every day, I need something to fall back on. And like I said before, I don’t want to work 5 jobs, I’d love to be a Firefighter/Paramedic one place and work a whole different career in something else. I don’t want to get burnt out like so many people I know.

So, my problems keeping me from picking a major/minor for my bachelor:

  • Money. How am I to pay for this? I need to pick a degree that I can many enough money to pay the loans back or find someone to help me, sponsor me, whatever.
  • Choosing which one would be best for me.
  • Need. Which job will be in need when I get out of school? I know so many people with a major in psychology or marketing and they can’t find a job to save their life. They are in major debt and no job. I don’t want that.

I do know one thing, I want to minor in writing! I do want to follow that path to some extent. Do I pick something to go with the minor in writing and work fully towards my dream of writing? That sure would be hard and I’m looking for something that is going to help pay my loans off right away, not prolong them. What to do, what to do…HELP!

Next subject on today’s agenda, my “oh so wonderful” father. Could you hear the sarcasm in that? A few weeks back my father told me he was not going to sign my car over to me, the one I bought and paid for, the one he hasn’t spent a single dime on, and the one I did NOT want his name on! This stupid divorce strikes again! When all the paperwork was filed and everything done the car was suppose to be put in my name and my name only. Somehow my dumbass father ended up being able to put his name on it. Well, I bought a new car and kept the old one because it only costs me $40 a month on insurance. Well, I wanted to insure them both under me to get the multi car discount…the asshole refuses to sign the car to me, he says, “it’s fine the way it is.” Controlling jerk! And he wonders why I won’t talk to him.

Today he was at the house picking up his crap when I came home from work, I didn’t say a single word to him! He was not happy but I don’t care anymore. It’s like training a dog, I’m not letting in! He just wants his name on the car so he can control me more and I refuse to let that happen. I’m pissed, I can’t sell it or anything either because the jerk refuses to do anything with it. I am one very pissed off person right now. He’s such a damn abusive child! Grow the hell up!! He used to bitch and whine to people that I was going on vacation and what a bitch I was for it. They would ask him if he was paying for it…nope. They would ask him if I was using his stuff for it…nope. They would ask him why he cared and told him to leave me alone, there is nothing wrong with a 24 year old planning a vacation…he doesn’t need to be involved. My life…one story at a time…

Other than all this stuff, life with my man has been awesome! I couldn’t be more happy with him! I won’t lie, some days I wish he were closer to my age, it just makes things easier, but he’s totally worth the battle! I’m so happy with him in my life, he supports me, loves me, cares for me, helps me, and just is the rock of my life. I can’t wait to see him again, we have lots planned this week. Geocaching, bike trips with geocaching, fishing, swimming, day trips to the country…I’m so excited! You’ll probably hear from me less this week. Tomorrow is surgery, have to get a tooth repaired that I broke…damn dentists are expensive!! They need to regulate that crap! Ugh! Oh well, has to be done I guess…so off to bed I go. Only slept 3 hours last night with a 15 minute nap today. I’m starting to get slap happy and I need to try to get my butt in bed before that happens. Big day tomorrow, will advise on how everything goes. Thank you God for sedation dentistry! Numbing has never worked on me, finally I’m not so afraid of the dentist.