Tears, Just Tears

What kind of day am I having? I’m having this one right here…

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This is an “ambulance drivers” alternative to ice cream. Ice cream doesn’t hold too well if you’re stuck in the truck on a long run, so Scooby Snacks and icing it is!

I’m angry today. And scared. And sad. I woke up this morning to my dog not putting any weight on his good leg. His bad leg wouldn’t support his weight either so he’d just fall over. He wouldn’t go outside or eat or anything. He just sat there looking at me until I picked him up and moved him to where I needed him go to. He’d try walking again, it wouldn’t work, then the same thing. I felt horrible for him!

Naturally my mom was gone all night to drink it up. I called, three times, nothing. I finally had to leave for work. I wanted to stay with him but I had no choice. Finally, several hours later she calls and said she’ll go home in a few and check on him. Around noon I get a text saying he won’t walk. No shit…I watched him stumble all morning while your ass was drunk and who the fuck knows where! Around 1pm she sends me another text that says she’s going out because she has another party to be at and my dog isn’t any better. Glad to see your drinking is more important. Thanks!

So now I’m going to have to make an appointment tomorrow to take him back to the vet. He can’t continue to stumble around like that, it breaks my heart. I don’t have the money for this, I can’t even by myself food right now. I’ve been living off scraps, bread and butter. Whatever is on sale, I make it work. But now he needs another vet visit and who knows that this is going to cost. I have to find a way though, I can’t make him suffer. I can’t do this to him.

He’s all I have when I go home.I can’t keep seeing him suffer. I need him better. I need him.

Not So Happy Birthday!

Well my birthday sucked! Thank you mom! Yet another “holiday” you have ruined…appreciate that. It never fails, any occasion you love to ruin, and you seem to have this desire to ruin every single one.

Well lets see, started out slow, boring, nothing special. My mom wanted to take me to lunch, I agreed though knew better. She told the family and waitress what a lowlife I am. She told them I’m a loser and need to grow up. If I won’t pay her rent then I need to move out an pay more to someone else.

Fuck her!! I tried to move out and she threw a fit, called me names, and told everyone what a horrible person I am. Now I’m a lowlife and loser because I’m living there not paying rent. Fuck her!! I just started my 7th job, where my brother has never had one. I got accepted with a scholarship into my bachelor program where my brother failed out of college. Fuck you mom!! You’re a fucking bitch!!

I spent the day before crying with a migraine, woke up that day with one, and today I woke up with another. Actually, the migraine was so bad this morning it actually woke me from my sleep! If you’ve never had that, you will never understand how horrible it is. To be woken up with a pounding pain in your head…it’s just horrible. I couldn’t find any way to go back to sleep.

Today was the worst day to wake up with a migraine too, I had my midterm for Critical Care class. Somehow managed to pass it with an 83% but I’m hurting!! I’m ready for class to end so I can go home and go to bed!! Someone shoot me now! 😥