I’m taking a break from studying and blogging tonight because according to WordPress I started my blog one year ago today. So what has changed in this year..well nothing really. Still love my man! Still hate hell job. And oddly enough I’m still in school! But I’m blogging today for more than just the fact that you guys have been stuck reading this crap for a year now. I’m pissed off! Sorry! I’ll warn you now…just skip this one, your life will be better.
I might as well start with class. Critical Care is kicking my ass! Holy shit!! And I’m only in the beginning! My man says I’m way more intelligent than I give myself credit for and that I’ll do just fine but I’m still scared! I don’t want to fail this! He spent several hours out of his busy schedule to quiz me and I did great! So far…now I just need to study more. But for now a break and my blog!
I had a talk recently with my man about his jobs. He changed his part time job recently, said it would be better for us because he’ll have more time off. Well, he has NOT had more time off and I see him about 25% of what I did before. I sent him a very long e-mail about it, basically telling him how I feel. I sent the e-mail because given my past, I’m poor at communication, and because I never see him to tell him. He took it really well and has been trying to do better so he took some time off to sit with me and study tonight. He also promised to meet me for a couple hours before my test on Friday. God I pray I pass this shit! I will also be turning in my application and resume package to the other job in hopes that something happens with that.
Now the reason I’m so pissed off. Chief Bitch and hell job! First, once again the bitch has NOT responded to my e-mails! She was given information LAST week that she NEVER bothered to pass on to me! Then I show up to work today…it’s 61 degrees INSIDE!!! Yea, it’s a whole 12 degrees outside!! WTF!?!? The furnace went out LAST FUCKING WEEK!!! Are you fucking kidding me?!?! She’s fucking USELESS!!! She’s going on about how she has to get bids and shit…you don’t have to get fucking BIDS! This is a fucking EMERGENCY SITUATION!!! You don’t have to fucking wait for bids!!! I fucking froze my ass off!!!!! I’m livid! Which is why I left the station to meet my man and warm up! And not like that, just meet and study.
I meet with one of the Assistant Chiefs of Police about working with the officers and seeing how many are interested in the suicide training. He said I did an excellent job of presenting all the information to him and he’s sold! Awesome! Now he just needs to present it to his guys and see how they like the idea and I need to present it to Chief Bitch…FUCK! She’s going to be a livid fucking bitch about it…just great! The training officer is out right now, he was the one I working with on it. Ugh! I’m just going to wait and see for a while if he is coming back soon so I can avoid the bitch! She just makes life such a living fucking hell for me! And it’s all stupid fucking shit!
Now, on the to next bullshit that pissed me off with today in hell job. I’ve been working as a medic longer and have been licensed longer than this other idiot that was working today but he thinks he knows everything. He’s a Paragod! He will only get up to do something if he knows someone is watching, otherwise he sits on his ass. He’s a piss pour medic. He’s an arrogant fucking asshole! Well my truck gets sent on a call and he decides to self dispatch himself…I told him to disregard, he went anyway. I get on scene and tell him he’s not needed. He STILL continues to respond!! Then comes in the house “just to see if everything is ok”! Are you fucking shitting me?!?! If I fucking needed you, I would tell you to come! Leave me the fuck alone! I’m not fucking stupid! I can handle my fucking patients! I just wanted to walk out and say, “here, since you’re here handle this one!” It just pisses me the fuck off! You became a medic AFTER me and you think you are going to help ME?! Now I’m not saying I know everything, because I don’t, but I’ve been his ass first hand on a calls…not pretty!
Anyway, that is life right now. Or at least life today. I’m going crazy. This job makes me want to visit the local bridge with all the other jumpers! But for now all I can do is say FUCK YOU! And continue to put my focus on studying. I couldn’t really afford this class and didn’t have time to apply for scholarships, so I better get my ass in gear and pass this crap the first time!