Today is day 1 of 3. Three long days without my man! Well, I guess you should count the last 38 hours before that because he was at work and I didn’t get to see him then either. This time he’s really gone, 5 hours away. When he’s working I can just stop by and visit, which I do often, but not when he left this far. He’s on an over night float trip down a river so even if I wanted to sacrifice my little sleep between jobs, I can’t even drive to him.
But what makes it worse…he has no cell service! I can’t even get ahold of him if I tried. He does have a satellite device that will allow him to check in with me, tell me if he’s ok and his location, however he can’t get a response from me. I hate that. It just sucks not having my best friend here to talk to. : ( Especially since I really have something I need to talk to him about!
My sister’s damn wedding is coming up soon. I told her MONTHS ago that I refused to do the readings, of course my family gave me all kinds of shit about it but then it was never spoken about again. Well today I get a text from her telling me I’m doing the readings. I told her no. She flipped and keep asking who is going to do it now. I told her I don’t care, but it won’t be me. I can’t read! You can’t make a dyslexic child that can’t read, do the readings. NO! I refuse! And I know my mom will be calling this evening and bitching me out for telling her no, but I can’t do it! I can’t read!! Honest! And making me try to do it out loud…not going to happen. And I mean, not only will it not happen because I refuse, it’s not going to happen because I really can’t read.
Second note of panic. She told me I need to RSVP for myself and my guest. One problem…who is going to be my guest?? I really, REALLY want to take my man but that’s just going to start more trouble at a wedding I don’t even want to be at! I’m NOT looking forward to seeing my dad and his family, I’m really not looking forward to it now. I don’t know that I’m going to be able to take my man with me and it kills me!
This is what hurts me the most about being in a May-December relationship. It’s not that people don’t accept it, because I understand that, everyone has the right to their own opinion. It’s knowing that he can’t be with me when I need him most because of these opinions. I want him to be the one with me at the wedding, no one else, but if I take him the problems will be worse than if I was alone. I’m going to catch shit either way, it’ll just be worse if I bring him with me.
I just want to be kidnapped for a freaking week or in a coma and skip this whole damn section of life! I don’t want to go see everyone at her wedding and I don’t want to deal with all the comments about “being single” and that crap. What do I do??? Some please kidnap me! Just for a week!