Last Meeting…I Hope

I had my meeting with the Police Chief today to determine if I’m going to come back to work or not, at this time…I’m unfortunately returning, only because I need the money. I’m praying I don’t have to stay long. I hope I can find another job and get out ASAP!! The meeting went really well, I was in complete control. He was super nice and very friendly! Had those scary eyes turned off from the moment I meet with him, I need to thank him for that.

After sitting down, I informed him that I will be returning to work starting August 1st and he had the biggest sign of relief I have ever heard. He thanked me for coming back. Told me he was glad I am giving him a chance to fix everything. We discussed that I need to let him know right away if something happens, not wait several months, I agreed to do so.

He also informed me that the Lieutenant that called me the “chief’s little bitch” has been demoted, received 3 days unpaid suspension, and had to go to remediation training. The Captain that laid his hands on me received demotion to just Paramedic, no supervisor position at all, 30 days unpaid suspension, and also has to go to training. Unfortunately they would not fire him because it had been too long since the incident, however he is on an extremely short chain and will be fired if he screws up in any way, not just by messing with me. I thanked him for the meeting and listening to me, then I went my way.
This afternoon I received the following e-mail:

Employee:

This is just a follow-up to our meeting today.  You have withdrawn you resignation and you are going to continue to work with the EMS department.

I want to reiterate what I told you today.  Although I cannot make people invite you to dinner or ask you on a daily basis to participate in activities, I cannot fix problems related to inappropriate workplace behavior when I have no idea that it is going on.   You must report inappropriate workplace behavior through the chain of command, unless of course, it involves individuals in the chain of command.  You must report inappropriate workplace behavior immediately and not wait weeks or months.

We value you as an employee of the City and look forward to you continuing to work with us.

Respectfully,

Chief

He truly wants to fix everything for me. He told me this over and over in the meeting. He wants to protect me. I hope he can…

Oh, and since work comp is not paying me, he is going to see to it that the city pays me for my missed shifts. Thank you Chief!! : )

And So It Begins

Warning: This post will be random and all over, I’m not sure where exactly this post will go, just so you know.

First, the game has begun. The Captain was notified that he is to report to the Assistant Police Chief as soon as he reports for duty. He if flipping out! He’s texting everyone, asking why he needs to go there, and honestly, the people he is texting do not know. I know why but I’m not about to tell him, besides he never asked me.

This guy is the type of person that if you told him his mom was here looking for him, he’d flip out and question you non-stop until he got here on why his mom was here, he’s just that guilty and scared all the time. I have this problem too, but it’s not because I’m guilty of anything, it’s a product of my past, something that I am also working on. So now we wait…in about 3 hours he should be arriving from class, given his letter, escorted to his car, then escorted out of town by PD, mostly for the safety of those employees on duty today, more specifically for me. The Chief is concerned about him trying to come after me and blame me for this given our history. Honestly I could take the guy, but I’d rather not have to try.

More on this soon, for now, the next topic.

While I’m discussing topics, let’s talk about Topix for a moment. Have you seen this crap?!?! If not, it’s probably better you never look at it, especially if you live in a small town like where I work. People are brutal! It’s horrible! Posting peoples full names, addresses, bad things about people..it’s just horrible! I am all for protecting my First Amendment right, but this site really needs to go. It’s cause a suicide in one of the towns I currently work in…it’s just bad news bears!

People recently got on there and started bitching about the ambulances being left running when the crews go out to the store or eat and just being out of the station to begin with…I’d like to discuss this a moment for all you people out there, especially those that are bitching about this.

First, crews leaving the station in the truck…”you’re wasting our gas and tax dollars”…fair point, but let me show you more sides of this. Where I work we are allowed to take a pager and go anywhere within the city limits we’d like, cool, but we RARELY do this if we are on the next up truck to be dispatched. So lets say I’m on the next up truck, you don’t like us using the trucks to run and get food, I decide to take my own car (not a big deal). I drive down the street, have to cross the highway because the stores aren’t on this side, wait in traffic and stop lights, get down and start getting my food from the store. As I’m inside getting food the pager goes off. I have to drop everything, go to my car, get back across the highway and wait in all the lights because it’s illegal for me to run them, get to the station, look up the address, then respond. How long do you think that takes? No instead, we took the truck to get food…a call came in. We drop everything, go to the truck, look up the address, and respond…no driving to pick the truck up. If you were the one that needed me at that very second, you’d be happy I had the truck right? It’s only ok if you need me, right? Is that how it works?

Now the second, leaving the trucks running, and this seems to be a major problem with people, especially with “tree huggers” (pardon my choice of words). We carry life saving equipment, including medications which are designed to only be stored within a certain temperature range, some of which is about 10 degree range. Without the truck running, it’s unable to maintain a certain temperature. In the winter it can keep the cold out better, but in the dead of summer those trucks heat up FAST! It can be very bad and VERY expensive to replace all the medications. Have you ever noticed that trucks are always parked inside “bays” when at the station? These bays are temperature regulated and help protect the medication from hitting the temperature extremes. So you don’t want us to leave the truck running…fine, lets turn it off and let it heat up in our 100 degree summer. Now you call 911…we respond but can’t use the medication to help you because the temperature is too hot. You’re also mad at us because it’s burning up inside the truck. Sorry, you bitched about it being left running. It takes a while for the AC to be able to catch up, we don’t have the money to afford specific AC units for the box part of the ambulance like some places. Have you ever tried to warm up or cool off a van or SUV from the 1990’s or older…takes a while, doesn’t it?

It is a proven fact that you can’t please 20% of people. You can offer 100 people $100 and 20 of them will not be happy. Some will be mad that they now have to pay high taxes because they are in a different tax bracet. Other’s might complain that your $100 “gift” means they have to pay $120 to their accountant to fill out different paperwork, so now it costs them more money. You can never please everyone. So despite everyone complaining, we will still continue to eat and when the temperature is extreme, we will be leaving the trucks running. Sorry, you’ll just have to bitch and complain, it’s not going to change. I’m off my soapbox…for now. : )

I’m still looking for another good book to start reading. I feel lost right now not reading anything. I loved Fifty Shades but man I wish I hadn’t read it so fast! It was SO good and I couldn’t wait to keep reading, but it ended too fast for me. I miss it, miss the story and heading the next adventure in their lives. Now what…? I don’t know what to read now, I need another good book! Help!! Any suggestions out there? I really hate when a good book ends!

The wait continues…I have typed all that within 30 minutes and now I wait some more…

Tonight I’m going to meet my man and we plan on talking some, discussing our future together. I can’t wait to spend my life with him and we have the same ideas about raising children. He currently has 3, and though I get along with them, they are pretty useless. The oldest has no job, bumming off his dad, living at home, about to lose his car cause it can’t pass inspection. The second youngest got knocked up early, living with her unstable boyfriend, no job for either of them, living off state money, and bumming off her dad. The youngest at least has a job, but she’s a royal bitch and downright evil to her dad. They are horrible. And he feeds it a lot, though that has changed more recently with my guidance. He gives them everything and allows them to feed off him. He complains that they are independent but he continues to allow that, which he’s been working on. I can’t blame him fully, his wife ran off when the youngest was just 4 and he’s been on his own, giving them what they want to make up for what she did.

We’ve both agreed how we want it when we have kids, we want the same things. We want them to be independent and strong, hard workers like both of us. I refuse to be a crutch for my child, not having that from my parents made me the person I am today, however I refuse to treat my kids the way my parents treated me. I want them to grow up in a loving, caring, and nurturing house but teach them the skills it takes to succeed in life. I really hope I do ok. I’m determined to break the cycle! I pray I will not treat my children like my parents treated me, I don’t want them to suffer and be on their own, I want them to know I’m there for them! I don’t want them struggling with suicide like I did. I just don’t want that.

This has been quit the post today. I don’t want it to get too long. I have been full of words more lately, opening up more, this is all thanks to my friend/counselor. He has helped me SO much and is helping me get to the place I want to be. One day I will be where I need to be and it will be thanks to him. I can’t wait to be “normal” and have a “normal” life and get past my past. One day.

Now, I continue to wait…if I am unable to entertain myself, expect more posts…don’t worry, I will update you once the Captain is escorted out. I really do hope, for my sake and any other girl that might start working here, that today is the last day we ever see him.