Restless

It’s nights like tonight that make me miss him most and wish we had a “normal” relationship. I love nights when I get to stay with him. He holds me close all night long and rubs my back until I fall asleep. He usually rubs my back to wake me up in the morning too, it sure beats my alarm clock! Nights with him don’t feel so empty, they make me happy, remind we how normal life for us can be.

I wish we had more quality time together, recently that has been lacking and I’m seriously missing time spent in his arms. That’s my safe place, it’s where I know I can’t be hurt. His arms are my happy place, if I’m having a bad day they will fix that. I can feel both his strength and caring from within. I know when I’m there that he will never let anything happen to me, ever. Tonight I could use those arms as thoughts of my past wonder into my mind.

My past…over time it will be visited but it’s far too much for one post. I am working with an amazing friend, who also happens to be a counselor, to move on and fix my life. Oddly enough, he is the same age as my man, but I swear I’m not one of those people that just seeks out older men. I’ve very mature for my age, in all aspects but emotions…I’m still a “child” in that department, but working hard to fix that. Anyway, I have friends that are older, several that are younger…we all mix wonderfully! And several of my friends love hanging out with me and my older man! They think he is great, and especially great for me! I just wish everyone saw that, instead of focusing on our age difference…

I’ve made a decision, and my man is supporting me fully, that if my family wants to treat me back because of who I choose to be with, then they can deal without me in their life. I will only come around when they can accept me and us as we are. I will no long let them control my life and my emotions!