Message Received

Sorry for the wait until an update for anyone that has been following the story of my Captain. He was suppose to report to work at 1700 and never showed. He was apparently told by a part time employee that they were added to days the Captain was scheduled to work, well the Captain has such a guilty conscious that he called and asked if he should bring his stuff in…hmmm, I wonder what else he has done…

In my opinion, that part timer should be in some trouble for calling the Captain up in the first place, but that’s a different story. So the Captain took 3 hours to show up after class! When he finally did I was no longer there, which was good. He went to the office, got his letter, cleaned out his stuff, and was escorted out of town. I’m praying I never have to see him again. So right now he is either crying or plotting revenge. Personally I’d be trying to find a new job, but then again I would have never done all the crap he did to get himself in this position in the first place. He dug his grave.

Tonight I am due for my first overnight shift at the new job and right now I should probably be sleeping, but I’m not. We’re allowed to sleep but they are so busy that we’ll probably be out running calls all night so I should be getting some zzz’s right now. I was sleeping wonderfully this morning but my PMSing mother ruined that. I had to clean all 3 levels of the house, cut the grass, clean the pool, and then give the pups a bath. Normally I don’t mind doing work but this time it pissed me off because now I’m gonna be up all day and night. I rushed through the work and for the first time ever she didn’t yell at me for that. Once done I decided to lay down and can’t fall back asleep. It might have something to do with the cookie cake I ate for breakfast…yum! : )

Since I couldn’t sleep I planned a few bike/geocache routes with my man! We have a few days coming up where we are both off before I go on an 8 day 24 hour stretch. Yes…that is 8 24 hour days in a row!! Ouch! But it means money. The worst part…it’s at the job I care for the least, but with the Captain gone things might be better…or probably not. Oh well. Gotta make that money, since that job pays the least of all of mine, I won’t be making much. Easy money though. Back to geocaching…I can’t wait! I took my cousins last week and we had a blast! I miss it! And so does my man. I planned us 3 different days that we can take the bikes along trails full of geocaches! I’m super excited and I’m sure I’ll post about it too.

Geocaching has made our trips places more meaningful and exciting. We just love doing it. It takes us to parks we’ve never seen or heard of, new views, adventures, and just good for your health. I’ve gotten a lot of people into it. Hidden a few myself. And even have a few trackables, one of which has become quit popular and really make people laugh. : )

In 2010, I went to Hawaii with my aunt, uncle, their demon child, and my “now ex” boyfriend (he was horrible to me). 3 days after we got back from the trip we were introduced to the word of geocaching and upon looking it up I walked past SEVERAL and didn’t even know it! Man, I wish I had known about it then! I want to go back to Hawaii just to geocache, crazy huh? In fact, when I’m bored I look up different areas and countries that I want to go to and search geocaches there. I want to travel all over and cache! Wouldn’t it be awesome?! This is one of those times where I wish my job were different so I could go caching and visit other countries! I need my Christian Grey! Haha, just kidding. I’m extremely happy with my man and wouldn’t trade him for anything!

In fact, recently I had an offer. A friend of mine, makes good money, just got a divorce like a year ago and asked if I was single, that he’s always kind of liked me and said when I become single he’ll be waiting. Now that I think about it…there are a few guys that have told me that…hmmm…I don’t see any reason why they’d want me. I really don’t think I’m all that good looking and I don’t make a lot of money, I just work hard, enjoy life and that’s about it…I don’t know what exactly they want. Well, I know what some of them want because they were upfront and honest, sorry…pass. I just don’t know what the others “see” in me…

This morning my mom informed me that her and my dad were at it again. Ugh! Divorce sucks! I pray I never have to deal with it!! Ever! The worst part about my parents divorce…they told everyone, the ENTIRE family and all the friends BEFORE they told their own children!! Talk about being hurt…it was like a damn bullet or knife in my heart. We should have been the first to know! Not the last! Even my damn cousins knew first! It still makes me angry to think about it. Why…just why would you do that?! Don’t the children, especially when they are ALL over the age of 18, deserve to know first? Am I wrong here?? So anyone out there thinking about a divorce…your children deserve to be the first to know! Please don’t make them go through what I did. Be honest with them, tell them the truth, don’t hide it and don’t lie.

For now my ramblings will end. I need sleep. Though I’m sure I’ll probably blog more to keep myself up tonight. Good night world! Enjoy the beautiful weather I have to sleep through.

And So It Begins

Warning: This post will be random and all over, I’m not sure where exactly this post will go, just so you know.

First, the game has begun. The Captain was notified that he is to report to the Assistant Police Chief as soon as he reports for duty. He if flipping out! He’s texting everyone, asking why he needs to go there, and honestly, the people he is texting do not know. I know why but I’m not about to tell him, besides he never asked me.

This guy is the type of person that if you told him his mom was here looking for him, he’d flip out and question you non-stop until he got here on why his mom was here, he’s just that guilty and scared all the time. I have this problem too, but it’s not because I’m guilty of anything, it’s a product of my past, something that I am also working on. So now we wait…in about 3 hours he should be arriving from class, given his letter, escorted to his car, then escorted out of town by PD, mostly for the safety of those employees on duty today, more specifically for me. The Chief is concerned about him trying to come after me and blame me for this given our history. Honestly I could take the guy, but I’d rather not have to try.

More on this soon, for now, the next topic.

While I’m discussing topics, let’s talk about Topix for a moment. Have you seen this crap?!?! If not, it’s probably better you never look at it, especially if you live in a small town like where I work. People are brutal! It’s horrible! Posting peoples full names, addresses, bad things about’s just horrible! I am all for protecting my First Amendment right, but this site really needs to go. It’s cause a suicide in one of the towns I currently work in…it’s just bad news bears!

People recently got on there and started bitching about the ambulances being left running when the crews go out to the store or eat and just being out of the station to begin with…I’d like to discuss this a moment for all you people out there, especially those that are bitching about this.

First, crews leaving the station in the truck…”you’re wasting our gas and tax dollars”…fair point, but let me show you more sides of this. Where I work we are allowed to take a pager and go anywhere within the city limits we’d like, cool, but we RARELY do this if we are on the next up truck to be dispatched. So lets say I’m on the next up truck, you don’t like us using the trucks to run and get food, I decide to take my own car (not a big deal). I drive down the street, have to cross the highway because the stores aren’t on this side, wait in traffic and stop lights, get down and start getting my food from the store. As I’m inside getting food the pager goes off. I have to drop everything, go to my car, get back across the highway and wait in all the lights because it’s illegal for me to run them, get to the station, look up the address, then respond. How long do you think that takes? No instead, we took the truck to get food…a call came in. We drop everything, go to the truck, look up the address, and respond…no driving to pick the truck up. If you were the one that needed me at that very second, you’d be happy I had the truck right? It’s only ok if you need me, right? Is that how it works?

Now the second, leaving the trucks running, and this seems to be a major problem with people, especially with “tree huggers” (pardon my choice of words). We carry life saving equipment, including medications which are designed to only be stored within a certain temperature range, some of which is about 10 degree range. Without the truck running, it’s unable to maintain a certain temperature. In the winter it can keep the cold out better, but in the dead of summer those trucks heat up FAST! It can be very bad and VERY expensive to replace all the medications. Have you ever noticed that trucks are always parked inside “bays” when at the station? These bays are temperature regulated and help protect the medication from hitting the temperature extremes. So you don’t want us to leave the truck running…fine, lets turn it off and let it heat up in our 100 degree summer. Now you call 911…we respond but can’t use the medication to help you because the temperature is too hot. You’re also mad at us because it’s burning up inside the truck. Sorry, you bitched about it being left running. It takes a while for the AC to be able to catch up, we don’t have the money to afford specific AC units for the box part of the ambulance like some places. Have you ever tried to warm up or cool off a van or SUV from the 1990’s or older…takes a while, doesn’t it?

It is a proven fact that you can’t please 20% of people. You can offer 100 people $100 and 20 of them will not be happy. Some will be mad that they now have to pay high taxes because they are in a different tax bracet. Other’s might complain that your $100 “gift” means they have to pay $120 to their accountant to fill out different paperwork, so now it costs them more money. You can never please everyone. So despite everyone complaining, we will still continue to eat and when the temperature is extreme, we will be leaving the trucks running. Sorry, you’ll just have to bitch and complain, it’s not going to change. I’m off my soapbox…for now. : )

I’m still looking for another good book to start reading. I feel lost right now not reading anything. I loved Fifty Shades but man I wish I hadn’t read it so fast! It was SO good and I couldn’t wait to keep reading, but it ended too fast for me. I miss it, miss the story and heading the next adventure in their lives. Now what…? I don’t know what to read now, I need another good book! Help!! Any suggestions out there? I really hate when a good book ends!

The wait continues…I have typed all that within 30 minutes and now I wait some more…

Tonight I’m going to meet my man and we plan on talking some, discussing our future together. I can’t wait to spend my life with him and we have the same ideas about raising children. He currently has 3, and though I get along with them, they are pretty useless. The oldest has no job, bumming off his dad, living at home, about to lose his car cause it can’t pass inspection. The second youngest got knocked up early, living with her unstable boyfriend, no job for either of them, living off state money, and bumming off her dad. The youngest at least has a job, but she’s a royal bitch and downright evil to her dad. They are horrible. And he feeds it a lot, though that has changed more recently with my guidance. He gives them everything and allows them to feed off him. He complains that they are independent but he continues to allow that, which he’s been working on. I can’t blame him fully, his wife ran off when the youngest was just 4 and he’s been on his own, giving them what they want to make up for what she did.

We’ve both agreed how we want it when we have kids, we want the same things. We want them to be independent and strong, hard workers like both of us. I refuse to be a crutch for my child, not having that from my parents made me the person I am today, however I refuse to treat my kids the way my parents treated me. I want them to grow up in a loving, caring, and nurturing house but teach them the skills it takes to succeed in life. I really hope I do ok. I’m determined to break the cycle! I pray I will not treat my children like my parents treated me, I don’t want them to suffer and be on their own, I want them to know I’m there for them! I don’t want them struggling with suicide like I did. I just don’t want that.

This has been quit the post today. I don’t want it to get too long. I have been full of words more lately, opening up more, this is all thanks to my friend/counselor. He has helped me SO much and is helping me get to the place I want to be. One day I will be where I need to be and it will be thanks to him. I can’t wait to be “normal” and have a “normal” life and get past my past. One day.

Now, I continue to wait…if I am unable to entertain myself, expect more posts…don’t worry, I will update you once the Captain is escorted out. I really do hope, for my sake and any other girl that might start working here, that today is the last day we ever see him.

Getting Scared

I had a discussion with my man tonight about something that has been on my mind since yesterday. Yesterday my man mentioned that he does not want me around the station at all tomorrow when the Captain is given his notice for administrative leave. This Captain is mentally unstable, he hasn’t been paying his bills, is about to lose his house, and has no one to turn to. Losing his job will be the final straw. Yes, it is his own fault, you can read this post to get some understanding, but he won’t blame himself, naturally it’ll be everyone else’s fault. He will either start crying or want to kill someone, I’m thinking he’ll start going after people and so does my man. There is some serious concern here for both our lives.

My man has a horrible habit of leaving things unlocked, small town, and now I’m trying to get him to lock his doors because this guy is that unstable. We don’t know if he has access to anything and thanks to stupid politicians that swear gun owners are the problem, neither of us can protect ourselves when at his house. For the anti-gun people out there…guns aren’t the problem, neither are LEGAL gun owners…it’s the people that have them ILLEGALLY that cause problems! Those are the ones you should be concerned about and taking away my gun just means they are more likely to start problems because they know I can’t protect myself. Can’t take a knife to a gun show!

Anyway…there is a concern for both our safety right now and tomorrow there is going to be some discussion about what to do with that. Fortunately they have till tomorrow afternoon before he comes to work, so all morning plans will be made on how to handle this, what to do, how to get him out of town and ensure he doesn’t come back around. I guess tomorrow you will get an update on how everything goes.

Now onto a slightly lighter topic…I out shot my man again today with his own weapon!  : ) First I out shot him with his own shotgun that he’s owned and hunted with for over 20 years…apparently I’m way better at hitting clay targets than he is. Tonight I out shot him again, this time with a handgun. I’m a damn good shot! If only he could shoot a bow…I’m sure I’d be able to out shoot him with that too. lol I’m quit good with my bow as well. I don’t spend as much time shooting as I used to, but I still have the hang of it.

If you haven’t noticed already, I’m a bit of a tomboy and my man says he loves it. I love camping, fishing, hunting, and anything outdoors. I have a handgun, shotguns, rifle, bow, dirtbike, wakeboard, and play all kinds of sports. I can skateboard, rollerblade, play hockey, soccer, football, soft/baseball, basketball, tennis…you name it, I do it. I can plan any instrument you hand to me. I started on the flute, went to piccolo, clarinet, bass clarinet, saxophone, tenor sax, trombone, trumpet, french horn, baritone, piano, then percussion. I played in concert band, jazz band, pep band, and winter drumline. Don’t laugh, band was more respected in my school than football was. I can work on cars and all small engines, I do all the work on mine and my brothers dirtbike. I have an xBox and enjoy that. But I also love relaxing and reading.

I’m pretty good at just about anything I do and a lot of things come very easy to me. My grandma tells me all the time how gifted I am, both in schooling and on the streets. My man tells me I have the book smarts, street smarts, and common sense…he said it’s very rare to find all that in a person, especially someone my age. : ) What can I say, I’m a talented little shit!