It started with a text

I can’t remember if I’ve written about this before or not, but I’m honestly too lazy right now to bother with going back to look so you get the story anyway. Luck you, right? It’s a good one, I promise. I’ve been sitting around thinking, which is never a good thing, but tonight it was. I’ve been thinking about life, how I got to where I am today. How life with my man and this relationship is now. What it might be like in the future. Will my family every accept this? Just everything running through my head, the good and the bad, and then I started thinking…what started this amazing bond and love we share. It started with a text.

I used to see him sitting at his desk when I would pass by, those bright blue eyes, they got my attention right away. So caring, but so sad. I could see it hidden back there, deep sadness and hurt. He always seems so happy and caring for others but those eyes told a different story, one his heart hid. I just had this desire I cannot explain, to make him happy. I wanted those eyes to smile with the rest of him.

It wasn’t long before my miserable life kicked in and he caught me in tears. I tried to hide them but it was impossible, I was crying too hard. Family was killing me, the boyfriend was controlling and demanding, and people at work had started their toll early. Everything became too much and I broke at the wrong time and even worse, he walked in on it. He didn’t say anything then, just left me to myself knowing I was embarrassed. I respected that because no one ever wants to get involved, but so desperately needed someone.

Then the next day I got a text. That’s where it started, with an innocent text asking if I was better. I lied but I think he knew that. Every so often I’d get a text making sure I was doing okay but each day the texts started to grow. We started talking about more things, deeper things. We started talking about my family, I finally told him about them. How my dad beat me, my mom yelled every bad thing about me she could, my sister did a combination of both. He didn’t know what to say. No one ever does. We talked about everything in life. And we started talking all the time. He had become one of my best friends and some of my friends were hating that, especially the boyfriend that was treating me so bad.

Then I left, for a whole week. On vacation with that stupid boyfriend. 16 hour flight away, several time zone changes, and our communication was cut off. He still had to work and I was on different hours. How do I tell him about my days? How do I stay in touch with the man I was growing so fond of, especially when my “boyfriend” was treating me so horrible? E-mail of course! At the end of the day, every single day, I wrote him an e-mail. Told him of my events, both good and bad. Make sure he knew I was alive and in one piece. He woke up every single morning to a nice long e-mail and plenty of pictures from vacation. He liked that.

While on that trip, he now admits, that is when he fell in love with me. For me, I think I can say the same. He had so much concern that I was having a good time, but reminded me how much he missed me and couldn’t wait till I came back. I felt the same way! I couldn’t wait to see him again! I just was dying without him and I think the boyfriend knew it. I’m not sure you would call him a “boyfriend” at this time though because we were already pretty much over and I found out later on that he had another girl the whole time.

Anyway, we returned. And upon that return, I got the biggest hug I had ever gotten in my whole life! And even better…I got a kiss. A kind and gentle kiss to my forehead. My favorite kiss. One kiss to the forehead is worth 1000 kisses else where. I will always love those. And that’s when it happened, that’s when I started to fall for this man. I was scared, did he feel the same? Of course he did, I could hear it in his e-mails back while I was on vacation. So where do we go from here? What next? I left that up to time.

Time took care of the rest. I ditched the controlling boyfriend and my man was right there to help me through that. Our feelings grew stronger, but we still stayed friends. He would hold me, listen to me, help me, let me cry when I needed…he was everything I needed in life. Then one day it happened. I was talking to him and he just had this look in his eyes, so full of love. Those eyes were finally smiling, I loved that. Then he kissed me. Gently. Right on the lips. He did it so quickly, right before I left, I didn’t know what to do or what to think. But I liked it. And I wanted me.

Life with my man started with a text, turned into friendship, then developed into companionship. He is my best friend above all else and my lover next. I don’t want to lose him, I can’t! But I have this horrible ache when it comes to my family. Will they every accept this? I seriously doubt it. But what does it matter? It’s not their choice, it’s not their concern. If I’m being treated like a lady, respected, taken care of, put my needs above his, protected, and I’m happy, what does it matter? It shouldn’t. Isn’t that what everyone wants for their child? I don’t have kids yet, but that is what I would want for mine. Whatever makes them happy, then I will be happy.

I would have never guessed myself in an age gap relationship, but that’s exactly where I am and I couldn’t be more happy with it! He’s my man! And I don’t want anything to take that away!

For now…off to bed because my man and I are off to geocache tomorrow! : ) That and riding my dirtbike are the two things that make me happy in life. My dirtbike gives me something I can’t explain…my mind is always racing, always moving, but when I get on my bike everything stops. I can think about just that one thing, no thoughts, no ideas, just riding. Freedom from my mind! Now…if I could just find a damn truck so I could actually go riding…my next goal! Oh, and on a side note…my man is totally cool with having little badass dirtbike kids like their mommy! : )

Test Complete

So, I finished my test with 80 something questions, the last number I looked up and saw was 88. I think it’s a bad sign…I think I majorly failed! I would not be surprised at all if I did! It has the most retarded questions!! Words I’ve never seen and couldn’t even pronounce. Why the hell do they have to do that to people? Why trick people up so bad?? So you can make more money? The test is suppose to represent that you are a competent medic…I know plenty of people that have passed that stupid test and are shit out there! The test doesn’t do anything it says as far as proving you know your stuff. Seriously…I’m not becoming a doctor…I don’t need to know half the crap on the damn test! Yes, an understand of it is needed, but why the hell must you make an IMPOSSIBLE test over stupid shit we CAN’T use on an ambulance?! Ok, I’m done venting…for now. I’m not really too concerned about when my results will be posted because I already know I failed it, why bother posting it for me to see.

Due to this stupid test, I have not posted for a while, instead I have been preparing. Now that it’s over, it’s time for me to prepare some more…but in between that I am taking a little time to catch you up in my world.

This past weekend was my birthday and it was awesome! Friday night I went to dinner with a bunch of friends and had a blast! I got some toys too (my friends know me so well) and then just hung out. My awesome man was there and only two friends don’t know about us, so everyone else kept quiet, but it was great being able to have him there! He treated me really good to! Desert and all! : ) Then Saturday I got up early to head out shopping with my man. I hate shopping but I have no idea what I wanted for my birthday so he took me to look. I found nothing. Then we got ready, met a friend and picked up my cousins and headed to Supercross!!

Supercross usually falls on, or very close to, my birthday every year so I’m used to going and it has sort of becoming part of celebrating. This year it worked to my advantage. I got some extra autographs and goodies! : ) The races were awesome of course, but I was missing my favorite rider. Andrew Short is out with injury so I was a bit bummed. We saw a bad crash right in front of us in the lites class, one guy got his head ran over twice, but he got up and walked away. It was a lot of fun overall!

After all the fun was over, I got to prepare for the test and now I wait…

Match Made In Heaven

Ok, I know it’s “Silent Sunday” but I came across some stuff online and am completely bored at work so I’m posting more.  So far we have had two people call for us, both not wanting to go to the hospital so we’re back sitting around watching hockey. Yesterday I stole the remote from the boys and we watched Legally Blonde, but today I gave it up. Usually when I’m working I am the only girl on duty, so very rarely do I get to watch tv that I want to but it’s extremely rare for me to watch tv anyway. Since I handed the remote over, we are watching hockey with the rest of America.

While being bored and “googling” everything I can think of, I came across this little post:

Cancer and Pisces Compatibility

Water and Water… your ocean of emotions and feelings will always be warm and inviting, for the both of you. Cancer and Pisces are alike in so many ways; you are guided by intuitions and feelings, you both have a deep well of emotion and understanding for your fellow human beings. Your heart rules your every action. Pisces is subordinate, something you are not used to but will come to take delight in. Pisces loves to be spoiled, doted on and admired, which something you enjoy doing. You are both introverted and would much rather spend your nights indoors, watching a romantic movie and cuddling together on the couch. If you are ever upset about something, be sure that your Pisces partner will find out what it is, often faster than you might. Pisces lives by intuition, much as you do, and you will always be able to avoid arguments with one another. Why would you even want to argue with someone who shares your mind? Of course, Water signs are notorious for their need for isolation at times. So don’t expect to spend every day and night together, but then again who doesn’t appreciate a little alone time every now and again? To be honest, what you two will have a problem with in your relationship will most likely be money. Cancers have a healthy appreciation for money, and are usually good at both acquiring it and making sure it stays put. You will have to contend with your partner wanting to spend money on everything, be it an inspiring painting, a beautiful watercolour picture, anything that is artful and tasteful. So, if you don’t have a tight hold on your purse strings, you will indeed have a house full of beautiful things, but your bank account will also be drained because of it. Pisces will appreciate your jealousy, something that your other partners tended to dislike you for. For a Crab, jealousy simply means you are showing how much love you have for your partner. Pisces can tend towards the insecure and self-conscious side, and so will appreciate your loving nature. Oh my, because you both live in such deep, emotional worlds oriented in feeling and intuition, your sex life will be subtle and unique, sensitive and sentimental. You will always feel your love emanating from your partner during these experiences. Given enough time and patience, this relationship could easily last a life time. Cancer and Pisces will often seem like soul mates, like you are made for each other. If you have found your Pisces, I suggest staying with it!

Except for the “love to stay indoors” part this about sums us up! On cold rainy days we like staying inside and cuddling up to watch movies, usually those of my choice, but we LOVE being outside! If you’ve read any part of my blog before you know we enjoy geocaching, but we also love camping, kayaks, hiking, riding bikes, I LOVE my dirtbike! We never pass up a chance to be outside and when it comes to summer and water, I’m like a fish…I love water! You can’t separate us! When the weather warms up, I’m sure there will be plenty of posts of my dirtbike and the water.

One thing different between myself and my older man is sports. I love my Cardinal’s baseball! Yadi is my man! My man will watch games with me and has eveen taken me to a game but he HATE professional sports because he says they make too much money and complain too much about not getting enough…can’t argue with that. Despite all that, I am a Cardinal’s born and raised baby and that’s not going away! : )

I am so ready for summer to get here! I can’t wait to swim! Ride my dirkbike! Take out my wakeboard! And swim every chance I get! I am so ready for some warm weather! This cold stuff is killing me! I’m ready to move to Hawaii! Best vacation ever! Which I plan to review and post about later. For now, back to work and being bored. Have a safe rest of the weekend!