Christmas Murder

Did everyone out there have a good Christmas? I sure hope so! I hope you got to spend time with you family and friends, got everything you wanted on your Christmas list, and I hope Santa was extra good to you! While you were celebrating, don’t forget to say a little prayer for those protecting your celebration and ready to respond if something happened.

Don’t forget about the Soldier fighting for your safety and freedom, especially those that don’t get to spend these holiday’s with their family. Don’t forget the Police Officers who are trying to keep the roads safe. Don’t forget the Firefighter who are always ready for your emergency. Don’t forget the EMT/Paramedics who are waiting and ready in the event a loved one has trouble. Don’t forget the Dispatchers who make this all possible. Don’t forget the Nurses and Doctors who are standing by, in case they are needed. Don’t forget the people that don’t get to spend their holidays with their families, but are more than willing to help you if something happened. But most of all, don’t forget those Soldiers, Police Officers, Firefighters, and EMT/Paramedics who never return home to their families, don’t forget our fallen brothers and sisters.

If you haven’t been watching the news or you don’t follow stories on firefighters, then you probably don’t know about the two firefighters who lost their lives and the other two who are critically injured on Christmas Eve, doing the job they loved most. Do you know that story? Do you know theirs? No? Well, let me share…

On Christmas Eve morning a report of a house fire in Webster, NY. When these men stepped out to do the job they love, the job they volunteer for, they found themselves under fire. Two were shot and killed right there, they went to the ground and never got up. Another two were alive, but not good. One of those men got on the radio and communicated clearly with dispatch, gave them information that saved many more lives. It was because of this firefighter that more units did not respond, he kept calm and gave clear radio traffic of the scene and what had happened.

The two firefighters that lost their lives? One was a 19 year old dispatched, Tomasz Kaczowka. The other firefighter was a Police Lieutenant, Michael Chiapperini. Remember those names, not the killer who’s name you will not find here. Those men died volunteering to put a fire out on Christmas Eve, they weren’t required to respond, they did because they wanted to.

The killer? His has a history, murdered in the past, was released from prison a while back, got a gun and was determined. How did he get a gun? Well you see…gun control doesn’t stop criminals! And according to the updates online, he left a note saying he wanted to take out as many people as he could. He took the coward way out, shot himself before police could get ahold of him. The report reads, “as a convicted felon, he could not legally own firearms.” Yet he had one…so for those of you that think gun control is the answer, think again!

There have been many firefighter shootings, most of which have similar details. They respond to a fire, step off the truck, then gunshots open up. The one I remember most, because I know many people from that area, happened on July 21, 2008. I don’t have to look that day up, I don’t have to research that, because I will never forget that day. It was just before I started my EMS career and it hit me hard, because this firefighter was friends with many of the firefighters I know from that area. It was an area I was considering moving to and starting work, but July 21, 2008 changed my life, as it changed many lives. A report of a house fire, a “routine” call, changed this department forever. They lost a brother, a friend, a young man just beginning his career, Ryan Hummert. He will never be forgotten there. When I go visit and see firetrucks and ambulances driving around, they still bear the sticker for him. They have a memorial and a scholarship fun in his name.

But Ryan wasn’t the first firefighter to be shot, nor will he be the last, however his had the most impact on me. There have been many shooting, some killed, other’s just injured on fire and EMS workers. Why? Did you know that many countries have agreed that hospitals and combat medics are off limits? That there is an agreement that you can’t injure those helping the injured? So why does it happen here, where there is no visible “war” going on? Because some people don’t care, some people want to kill and it doesn’t matter if you take away their guns and ammo…they will always find a way.

How many firefighters have been killed because they went into a house that was trapped? I can’t tell you that number because it’s unknown, but I can tell you there have been many. In fact, my department has training on what to watch for and how to help yourself in those situation because of a house that was trapped. No one lost their lives that day, but it was close. It was an arson fire, and this house had traps all over. Random holes cut in the floor, windows that won’t open, doors that are blocked, exits no longer exits, and this happens all too often. We watched a video in training, where the department responded to a house fire. One of the firefighters had a helmet camera (very educational) and when the firefighters opened the front door to enter, there was just enough light that night from the full moon to see that there was a massive 20×20 foot hole cut out in the floor. Had those firefighters entered, they would have fallen to the basement, and possibly never came out.

I picked a career that I love to do, I just pray the career doesn’t take me. Especially not when I have kids, I hope they never get the Chief’s vehicle and Chaplain knocking at the door. I pray that will never happen to them.

Hurting

I’m pissed beyond what words can describe! And so many thoughts are going through my head that I think straight! The best I can do is write, write everything on my mind. So I would like to apologize now, you will be hearing a lot from me, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do. Writing gets this crap off my mind and it helps keep me alive…for now. I’m just hurting so bad! And I’m so damn angry! I honestly can’t tell you how much longer I can take this! This job, these people are killing me! Literally! If you never hear from me again…well…they were successful!

Another fucking fuck up by the Bitch has me so angry I cried, and screamed, and cried and my poor man had to listen to it all. I didn’t mean to and I feel bad for it, but he says he wants to help me despite what he said before. He said I have every right to sue them (something I never wanted to do) and if they don’t fix these problems then he will be pushing for me to do that. This is the last fuck up they have! The very last fucking one! I’m sick of this shit!

Recap time…first Jackass Captain laid his filthy hands on me! To be more specific…as I was walking past him he pulled me by the hips onto his lap, leaned me forward, slapped my ass, and told me that I’ve “been a bad girl”…real fucking nice! This was AFTER other incidents that I told him to stop. He used to tell me I’d make a nice “MILF” one day, and how he’d “love to fuck” me. Yea…I told him to stop, THEN he put his hands on me! I felt violated! Dirty. Nasty. But never told, I didn’t need that black mark on my record when I was just starting this career. But the Chief (the good one, the one that quit because of these assholes) found out, I told him after he kept asking, but I wouldn’t let him tell the Police Chief or the city…biggest mistake ever! But he found out, by was that fun.

Then, after all that, after the Police Chief finally found out about what the Jackass Captain did and got in trouble, the Asshole Lieutenant called me the “Chief’s little bitch”…yea, he had no idea I was sitting right there and could hear him. Once again, I never told. I did e-mail asking for a month off, I needed a break from these dickheads, but that was a mistake because that opened a fucking can of worms! So Asshole Lieuntenant got in trouble and this new Bitch of a “Chief” wasn’t the Chief at the time…but she changed her attitude towards me and made comments that he didn’t deserve the trouble and punishment he got. That I was just overreacting…I get accused of that a lot. I guess I should just keep my stupid mouth shut, huh?

Well now that this Bitch is the acting “Chief” I’m really fucked! And she is the most worthless, useless, underqualified “Chief” I have ever know! Fuck! I thought some Chief’s were bad…this Bitch is by far the worse!! So she changed our shift times, which fucked me over and I couldn’t put in availability at all for this month…there went just over half my income that I was counting on…stupid whore! Well I e-mailed her, TWICE, about not being able to work the shifts. Once almost two weeks ago now and once again today. Shortly after my second e-mail I get an e-mail to the whole staff with the schedules…yes, without me on there at all, whatever. Well, I called to ask if she was receiving my e-mails, because I have not gotten a single response. This is how that conservation went…

Me: This is “the employee you hate”, I was just wondering if you are getting my e-mails.

Bitch: Yes. (For the record, she started a bitch tone the moment she found out it was me.)

Me: I was wondering if there is a reason you’re not responding to them.

Bitch: I’m very busy, I don’t have time to respond to your e-mails.

Me: But you’re getting them? Because I never got anything back, from the first e-mail and again today. I just want to know if there is a reson I’m not getting a response.

Bitch: I don’t appreciate your tone.

Me: And I am just wondering if there is a reason why you’re not responding to my e-mails.

Bitch: Ok, STOP! You need to listen! I do not appreciate your tone! I am very busy and I don’t have the time to respond to your e-mails. You tone need to stop NOW! I have a lot to do and if I don’t have the time to respond to your e-mails, then you need to wait. Your tone is not needed and it can stop now, do you understand?

Me: Yes ma’am! (With a fucking attitude!!!!)

The Bitch continued on, but I didn’t listen, I didn’t need to, nothing she said or every says again is worth my time. I was beyond mad! I just sat there and cried! Cried for hours! Then my man called and I cried some more. I know he doesn’t want to hear this shit anymore, but he listened and said he’d help. I just cried some more and kept saying sorry, he said that as long as I’m stuck in this hell hole he’ll be here to help me. He’s got a meeting coming up too…with one of the city officials coming up, about something completely different. He’s not going to bring the hell hole up, but if the city official does…well it’s fair game! He’s going to make it clear that I have full rights to sue and if they don’t fix this shit, then he will be backing me 100% to do so! And given these officials respect him very much…well that should help things…I hope! Now I just have to see if the conversation actually happens…I’m praying the official brings up that hell hole or it won’t happen…

For now…sleep…it’s back to hell tomorrow…back to planning the end of me…

Don’t Forget the First Responders

Heaven gained some beautiful angles this week when they were stolen from their families. Their lives cut short, never knowing what they might have been, might have done. These beautiful babies, just starting their lives. Never getting their first dance, never getting to graduate, or drive a car, or learn to live.

But don’t forget those first responders, police, fire, and EMS, that arrived there, some entering without knowing where the shooter was, just to save a life. Don’t forget about them, what they saw, what they feel.

My worst fear in this career isn’t my injury, nor is it my death. My worst fear is being sent to a scene like this, or the Colorado shooting, or 9/11. My worst fear is being sent to a burning house only to pull a lifeless child from the building. My worst fear is watching an innocent child, so helpless, losing their life because of someone else. My worst fear was lived by these first responders.

I can’t imagine what they saw, how it will haunt their lives forever. I can’t imagine how helpless they felt, knowing there is little you can do. I can’t imagine how they felt telling parents their little angle was not coming home tonight.

So next time you complain about the firetruck delaying your trip, or the ambulance that caused more traffic, or those “Union Firefighters” that just sit around and want more money…think about what they have seen, what they have done, what they do every day for you. Think about those soldiers fighting for you right to judge and belittle the people that keep you safe every day.

You Might Cry

This is my warning…you might cry. I’m sorry, I just feel it is EXTREMELY important to share these videos so please watch and share with other’s out there! Especially the second one and you will read why shortly.

This first video was created by the Chicago Fire Department called “Everyone Goes Home.” It is moving and discusses the importance of safety. Everything from your seat belt to calling a mayday. Even if you’re not in the fire service, you might find this eye opening and interesting.

The next video I find VERY important for the public to watch, more so than the firefighters out there. This is moving and you will cry, trust me! All the guys did when we watched this. It talks about budget cuts and maybe the next time you are voting on taxes that include fire/EMS you might start thinking about this video. There are places taxes and money needs to be cut, such as in the salary of those government employees sitting in their nice and comfortable offices or their vacation homes…but it’s not in Military, Police, Fire, nor EMS. As you saw in my past posts…the majority of public safety officials cannot support themselves, let alone a family, on their income of one job that’s why we require so many. But despite that, we will never quit the job we love. We love serving the public and ask little in return so show some respect please.

Please share these stories, they are extremely important. Thank you.

Warning: Do Not Speak Of It

Warning: Do Not Read.

My mind is all over tonight, from one thought to another, which never turns to good things. I should apologize now…I’m sorry. My mind is not in a good place right now.

Why is it so easy for me? So easy to think about the easy way out? The unspeakable? It’s so easy for me to turn to that option, to plan it out, to wonder how but never to do. Something always holds me back, something keeps me here, and that something is starting to piss me off.

This job is killing me and maybe if it does that’ll mean help in the future for other people that end up in the position I am in. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t work here but can’t survive without the income. I can’t end my life either. Now I’m just hoping I will get lucky and someone or something will do it for me!

I was doing so good, but once again everything had to come along and fuck it all up for me. Every single time. I guess I’m meant to suffer. I’m suppose to hurt. I’m suppose to be punished. And I’m not luck enough to get the easy way out.

Study Me Time

Well, it’s that time of year again…twin study time! Fun fact about me…I have a twin and we look and act NOTHING alike! In fact, you would never even guess that we are sisters! We couldn’t be any more opposite! And the only good thing my parents did for me was enter us in twin studies. I’m sure my parents kept all the money when we were younger, but now it’s all mine and pays VERY well! : ) Originally we were not suppose to be in this study because of the injuries I suffered in our car accident, but they called back and said they want to try us anyway.

This study involved the effects life choices have on the brain, comparing twins that have different behaviors. Good news…I actually do have a brain! They said it’s in there! Bad news…I was officially diagnosed with 3 different cases of PTSD. Is that possible?! Apparently so. The person I worked with was totally awesome! And kept making sure I was doing ok and wanted to make sure I was safe. I lied a bit..told them I’m not suicidal, but did admit to it in the past. Sorry…I’m not going through that lock up…not happening, not right now anyway.

Back to these 3 cases of PTSD. What’s causing each one? And how bad is it? Well, I was diagnosed with PTSD from the car accident, those I read minor in this one. Apparently it is still having a small effect on me and how could it not? Let’s see…get in a major car accident, woke up with no feeling from the waist down…I think anyone would have a hard time getting in a car that someone else is driving, wouldn’t you agree? For the record, I still, to this day, refuse to ride with my sister.

The second reason for the diagnoses was that jackass Captain and his move! It read a moderate to severe on this one. Apparently it is really effecting me, more so than I let on. I think about it almost daily and really struggle with what he did to me. I hate him for it! But I hate myself more for letting it happen and I hate myself even more for not getting the fucker fired! That’s a struggle too because had I gotten the jackass fired, then I would have had that black mark my entire career. I just hate that I was ever put in that situation! I’m not a violent person, but if I came across the asshole I’ll fucking hit him so damn hard!! I’m tiny, but he’s got me pissed off enough to offer me that “super power”…you know what I’m talking about? Drunks and angry people get this super human power, they are unbelievable strong…I think I am capable of that with him. I just hate the whole damn thing!

And the third reason, the most severe, is naturally my past and upbringing. Needless to say I tested severe in that one. I pretty much knew that already, but never had it confirmed until now. It was recommend that I get help for all of them, but especially the last one. The problem with that…I can’t afford it on my income. And my career means it compounds the problem, given what I’ve seen and done. Great.

People complain all the time that Fire/EMS makes too much and do too little but when they need us they complain we took too long. WTF?! Did you know that 85% of people in my career (nation wide) can not afford to live off just one income? Bet you didn’t. That’s why everyone in my career works 2 or more jobs! Meaning they can’t get off work when they need help, nor can they afford the help they need. I’m an example. I’m one statistic, but I won’t become another…not yet anyway.

Do you know what the number above means? Do you know what it stands for? No? Well read below and find out.

In 2010, while educating firefighters across the United States, I began to notice through stories and reports about the number of firefighters who had taken their lives.  I began to collect reports through a confidential reporting system in late 2010 through Counseling Services for FIre Fighters.  After much research and effort, I realized this was a much larger issue than I thought, and expanded by starting Firefighter Behavioral Health Alliance. I am now collecting this data through FBHA also. This confidential report can be found on the list at the left “ff suicide report” or at www.csff.info under the tab “FF Suicide Report”.

The number on the box above are members who were active or retired firefighters who suffered deaths by their own choice.  It should not be conceived as one of weakness but one where they might not have believed they had any other options to relieve their pain.  FBHA is dedicated to collecting the most accurate numbers regarding FF suicides and then updates this number as information is confirmed.  It is also FBHA’s objective to educate all of our brothers and sisters on suicide prevention through our workshop titled “Saving Those Who Save Others” in hopes to limit this number. 


Regards,
B/C Jeff Dill 
Founder of CSFF & FBHA

Note: Number is from information received from suicides ranging from the years 1880-2012. The total is comprised of 269 FF and 11 EMT/P.

Think about that. Just let that sink in when you think about voting for a tax cut for firefighter/paramedics. And that is JUST firefighter/paramedics. What about the police officers? Or that military?? Those numbers are alarming as well. Some things in this country need to change…congress needs to be put on minimual wage in their comfortable little office and give their pay to the people that work every day for their life, health, and safety.

But enough of that for now. I have a lot to do before work. Another day at “hell” job! Ugh. And a full 24 hours there to make matters worse…expect to see me tomorrow. I’m sorry…good night!

Day 19

I have nothing more to be thankful for. Not one. I thought all day and not a single thing comes to mind. Am I that horrible of a person? I can’t even be thankful for anything?

A little back story about the weekend and how I got to where I am right now…alone…

I was having a bad day, just one problem after another. Stuck at “hell” job all day, stupid drivers coming home, phone call from my mom all pissy, then my dad telling me about my grandma…just a bad day. Well, my man was in the area so he went to my house and waited for me to get there from work. I came in just stressed and not in a good mood. First he asks what my problem was, no hi…nothing…just, “what’s wrong now?” Am I that predictable? So I started by telling him crappy drivers made my day worse and without me even getting to explain about my grandma or the phone call from my mother, he responds with, “You’re ruining your life. You need to let it go.”

Probably not a bad response if you look at it and looking back now it wasn’t the worst response he could have chosen, however this particular night it was a “trigger” and I lost it. My response was something along the lines of, “I don’t need this tonight” and I took off upstairs in tears. I just couldn’t take anymore that day. His response to that? He left. Walked right out the door. I needed comfort, not another person to walk away. Am I that horrible to deal with?

By then I was pissed. Beyond pissed! I sent all kinds of horrible texts, ones I probably shouldn’t have, but I did it. I told him I’m done with him, with this family, with everyone. I told him to leave me alone and go enjoy his “happy fucking life” and that was the last message I sent. I have not responded to a single text message, phone call, nor e-mail from him for two days. He’s tried…sort of, but has yet to say sorry at all. So for now…I refuse to talk to him. I may have messed up, and I know my already bad day made things worse, but I refuse to let it be 100% my fault.

As for my grandma…got the call today that the doctors want to intubate so I had no choice but to go to the hospital. My mother and father are both on me about seeing her, but you know what…she’s been nothing but a bitch to me every time I see here…why should I take off work to go up there? I have bills to pay and I just flat out don’t want to be around her. Call me evil. I don’t give a shit anymore.

I guess being in EMS has given me a cold heart when it comes to the sick and dying. I’m used to it so to speak. It’s a part of life, I’m at peace with it, and know it’s coming. If it’s their time, it’s their time. If I lost the grandparents that helped raise me…yes it would hurt, I’d cry and miss them horribly, however it’s life. I don’t know…I don’t know how to deal with emotions. I don’t know what to do, what to say. I just…I don’t know. It’s life. And the grandma that is in bad shape…well, she has not been kind for a long time now…she’d be better off with my grandpa anyway because she has been a COMPLETELY different person without him.

What can I say…I’m a cold hearted bitch and I want nothing to do with anything right now. I’m done with it all. I’m tired of hurting. I’m tired of feeling. I’m tired.

Keep Me Alive

I have not gotten my ass out of bed the entire day. My only day off in months and I haven’t done a single thing I need to.I haven’t eaten. I haven’t had anything to drink. I haven’t answered the phone. I haven’t moved, except to get on here. My thoughts have been all over. I can’t focus. I don’t want to do anything. I don’t want to geocache, I don’t want to go out, I don’t want to move. Fall is my favorite time of the year and I just love Halloween. Guess what…not a single Halloween decoration has been put up. Nothing. Holiday’s lost their magic for me, but that’s a whole different story, one no one cares to hear.

I don’t even want to sit here and type but I don’t know what else to do. I thought about cleaning, but the longer I delay that, the longer I delay the inevitable. See, when I tried to vanish the first time I refused to do so until my room was completely cleaned up and I had gone through all my stuff. I refuse to leave stuff behind that people might go through or check. I want everything gone that I don’t want people to go through. My computer, it will be wiped. My iPad and iPhone, the same…everything will be removed. Any old notebooks around will be burned. All my lose ends will be straightened up.

You want in on a little secret? I’ll tell you because honestly, you can’t track me down and stop me. I’ve been working on letters. Letters to every asshole at that job. Letters to every asshole in my life. Telling them exactly what I think of them and their effect on someones life. I’m also working on letters to the only two people that seem happy to know me, my cousins. I want them to know I’m sorry, but how do you explain that in a letter? I don’t know…maybe one day they will understand. I plan to resign from that hell hole job shortly before, just in hopes of doing something good for someone else down the road. Here, read my letter of resignation and then the second letter I am sending to the Chief with it, maybe that will explain some of it.

My Name
My Address
My town, state, zip code
My phone number
my e-mail address @ no one cares. com

Whatever day I sent this goes here
His name
Chief of hell job
Hell jobs name goes here
Location of hell job
Hell, Hell and zip code here

Dear Chief Scary,

Please accept this letter as my resignation with “hell job”. After the current month’s schedule, I will not be submitting availability for shifts with the “hell” department.

Thank you for the opportunity to work for “fucking hell”. I have learned valuable skills I can take with me on my future career path. I appreciate the opportunity to work with a department that has taught me the value of customer service and the important role it has in our career.

I regret to inform you that I can no longer work for the organization. No single circumstance has lead to my decision, this has been a difficult one to make. For my own wellbeing, I am resigning from the position of “worthlessness” with “hell”.

Take care in the future and thank you for everything.

Sincerely yours,

“The employee in hell”

I think it’s a pretty decent letter, you? I wrote it fast, too fast, but maybe I can sit on it for a bit. And for your entertainment, this letter will be accompanying it, what do you think?

Dear Chief Scary,

As you know I recently resigned my position with “hell”. I would like to take a few final minutes of your time to explain some things that I felt not appropriate for a resignation letter.

I would like to start by thanking you for your time and help when I needed it most. I appreciate everything you have done for me these past few months and can not thank you enough. However, as much as you tried, not every problem can be fixed. Problems with “hell” started when I came to work here and they have not stopped since, it is simply just too much to be fixed. When one problem stops, another is created. The only solution I could see to this problem was my resignation.

I would like to apologize for using the little time you have available in having to deal with problems within the “hell” department, I know it is difficult running one department and you have two under your hands. I have tried my best to avoid trouble and brush things off so yourself and others would not have to be bothered with small problems. The only problem with this, is that all the small problems started building up and turning into larger problems. This is when I finally had to turn to yourself and Chief NotScary for help.

I simply wanted time away from work to think about my career with “hell”. I knew that if I stayed at work, my decision would be based on emotion and I might do something I would regret later. I never intended to have to bother you and bring up other problems that have happened over my time here, you asked questions and I answered. I wanted to be completely honest with you.

At this time I owe you another apology, for not speaking the complete truth to yourself and Mr. Attended-Our-Meeting during our meeting, I am truly sorry for this. Please send my apologies to Mr. Attended-Our-Meeting if you choose. During the meeting you asked if anything else had happened between myself and “Captain Jackass”, I shook my head no. I am sorry I did not tell you the truth, I wanted to, but could not. Remembering everything that has happened and trying to get it all out broke me, I am sorry for my tears.

The incident between “Captain Jackass” and myself is something I have been trying to forget since it happened. I am sorry I could not bring myself to talk about it that day. After our meeting I contacted Chief NotScary and asked him to inform you of the incident since I was unable to do so myself. It was hard telling someone what had happened the first time, I could not talk about it again. I know he denies what has happened and blames the incident on me, this I have known since he was first confronted about it. The two employees that witnessed the incident have taken to “Captain Jackass”‘s side as well, making my story sound false. I am sorry I could not tell you that day, but it is something I am trying very hard to block from my memory.

This was just one of many incidents, each one has built up to be too many. If one employee starts to leave me alone, then another employee takes their place. There is never a break or stop in the problems. I am constantly accused of one thing after another, more times than I can remember. I cannot work in this environment any longer, it is killing me. I can not take listening to people talk behind my back, laughing at me, calling me names, or the daily treatment I have to deal with, it is just too much.

I appreciate you granting me time away from work, I truly needed it, especially after “LT Asshole” made his comment. I spent most of my time off thinking about returning to work and if I should do so. I finally decided that I would return to work, but only until I either found another job or could not take the job any longer. I used to love my job here, however it gets harder to continue working when you are the lowest paid employee with zero incentive watching the highest paid employees sleep and avoid extra work. I believe in earning your paycheck and want to earn every penny handed to me, however if I stay this may not happen any longer.

Thank you for allowing me to work with “hell”. It has taught me some very valuable lessons in life that I will take with me. I am sorry to resign but staying here is causing too many problems to my mental health. I need to make a change and make things better for myself. I will miss PR events and teaching around town, the citizens here have made that great for me.

I do have one final requested upon my resignation with “hell”. Problems within the “hell” department got very difficult for myself, especially after the incident with “Captain Jackass” and eventually “LT Asshole”. I asked Chief NotScary if the city offered some type of assistance. I did not ask to gain time off work, which I appreciate you granting, I was asking for help. I was informed that since I am not a full time employee, there was nothing available for myself. I think this is something that needs changed. I was in a desperate situation with no where to turn after two separate incidents at work, yet had no form of help for me. I would hope the City of “hell” could fix this for any future employees that might need the help I was seeking.

Thank you for everything you have done for me. Good luck in the future and stay safe out there. I hope I can use you as a reference for future employment.

Sincerely yours,

The worthless employee

What do you think? I probably shouldn’t send that second letter. Just not worth it I guess.

You know the only good thing about life right now, the only thing keeping me going? Probably sounds stupid to you, but my dog. He has spent the entire day with me and those innocent eyes have been watching me. It’s like he knows, like he sense it and he won’t leave my side. I needed him today and he’s what’s keeping me going right now.