SnapChat

If you’re a parent and you don’t know what it is, I suggest some research!

I saw one article online with a parent complaining about the app and how their 10 year old child downloaded it to their phone and sent stuff the mother couldn’t see. First, your CHILD is 10!! TEN! Wtf happened to childhood?! They don’t need any phone let alone a smartphone!! And you can’t blame the child, they are a CHILD, they don’t understand the consequences. Maybe it’s time for you to get offline and start being a parent. I feel sorry for kids these days, never knowing the innocence of childhood, the flashlight tag and playing till the street lights came on. It’s sad really.

My cousins had me download it so they could send me pictures, then they never use it. Now I message two friends but that’s about it. It can be quit entertaining! Do you have one?

Restless

It’s nights like tonight that make me miss him most and wish we had a “normal” relationship. I love nights when I get to stay with him. He holds me close all night long and rubs my back until I fall asleep. He usually rubs my back to wake me up in the morning too, it sure beats my alarm clock! Nights with him don’t feel so empty, they make me happy, remind we how normal life for us can be.

I wish we had more quality time together, recently that has been lacking and I’m seriously missing time spent in his arms. That’s my safe place, it’s where I know I can’t be hurt. His arms are my happy place, if I’m having a bad day they will fix that. I can feel both his strength and caring from within. I know when I’m there that he will never let anything happen to me, ever. Tonight I could use those arms as thoughts of my past wonder into my mind.

My past…over time it will be visited but it’s far too much for one post. I am working with an amazing friend, who also happens to be a counselor, to move on and fix my life. Oddly enough, he is the same age as my man, but I swear I’m not one of those people that just seeks out older men. I’ve very mature for my age, in all aspects but emotions…I’m still a “child” in that department, but working hard to fix that. Anyway, I have friends that are older, several that are younger…we all mix wonderfully! And several of my friends love hanging out with me and my older man! They think he is great, and especially great for me! I just wish everyone saw that, instead of focusing on our age difference…

I’ve made a decision, and my man is supporting me fully, that if my family wants to treat me back because of who I choose to be with, then they can deal without me in their life. I will only come around when they can accept me and us as we are. I will no long let them control my life and my emotions!

Remember me?

I’m alive! Wow, life has been crazy lately. I’m starting one new job while my awesome man is leaving one. It’s crazy where life can take you and I sure hope mine is taking me in the right direction! I had a very rough and difficult past, easy to a select few out there, but difficult to most. Many people would not have been able to handle the life I was given. When I was younger I used to pray every single day that my life would end or someone would rescue me…that rescue finally came recently. I was despirate for a different life, a “normal” one, but looking back now I’m grateful for the life I had, it made me the person I am today. A person I am proud of and ever grateful to be. Life wasn’t easy, but I’m glad it wasn’t different.

Something I hate most in life is being accused, especially when it’s not true. I hate being accused of something I wasn’t involved in, something I didn’t do, and something I didn’t say. There has been a lot of people at work accusing me of things that are all false just because I work my ass off. I’m cleaning trucks every shift I’m on, I teach CPR and first aid, I volunteer for events, I do all kinds of stuff and my co-workers hate that, I guess it makes them look bad. So instead of getting up and helping out they’ve decided to accuse me of stuff instead. It pisses me off more than anything else in life.

I’m tired of that job, everyone is still stuck in junior high and so fucking immature! As soon as hours start to pick up at my new job I’m done with that stupid ass place and I can’t wait!!!! Life is going to be SO much better! For now…I suffer through hell and make do the best I can.