Know Your Limit…and Stop

As you know, I recently had that little “surgery” to get that tooth out. It felt SO much better to have out! I’m not happy about what happened, but the problem is “fixed” now…just have to save money and hope I can get an implant now. More money…more bills…just what I don’t need! Oh well I guess…that’s just my life. You would think I would be used to this by now…guess not. The removal went well, doctor said it came out easily and wouldn’t be too hard to recover from, which it wasn’t. It was painful, and sore, but overall it wasn’t horrible. I took the pain meds the first 2 days but after that I used only ibuprofen.

Anyone that works with medicine, you know that high doses of ibuprofen does not mix well with high heat. I had my weekly training for the fire department, no big deal…except for the fact that I forgot I had taken a high dose of ibuprofen…uh oh. Ibuprofen, heat, humidity, and full gear…not a good combination! My body already has a hard time regulating it’s temperature, I can’t fight off the cold or heat since my horrible fever when I was younger. I had a temperature of 106.7…and yes, I am alive today. It was horrible! And I’ve had problems since. It caused a problem at training.

I remember being given a command and saying ok, but never got up. The BC asked if I was ok, I remember telling them yea but just felt so out of it. Then him and someone else picked me up by my coat and drug me over to get my gear off. Stripped off my gear, got cold towels on me, cold fluids slowly and laid me down. They took care of me great and arranged me a ride home and everything. They did great for me! I came home and slept…for hours! Almost didn’t get up the next morning for work. It felt good to finally have some sleep though. I have not been sleeping well at all.

My man decided that he wants me to find someone I can spend my life with, grow old together, have a family…you know…a “normal” relationship. His plan to help me find someone…? Abandoning me. I haven’t see or heard from him much at all. He just took off, has camping, floating, and all these plans with everyone…nothing with me. We had plans for the summer but he changed it all…no longer am I going on vacation because he cancelled that for me. I’m just alone now. Lost and told to go find someone my age. That’s it…that’s his plan. Leaving me…it will fix everything, right?

I’m not happy. I’m hurting. I’m alone. I’m stuck. I’m abandoned. Everyone else has the summer plans made, trips and everything…I now have nothing. The ONLY camping trip we had planned, he cancelled and made plans to go with some new camping group he joined. You have no idea how much that hurts. And how did I fix this hurt? I made sure he knew it! I told him how much it hurt! I told him what he did! I told him how I felt! I let him have it!

What has that done? Nothing. Not a single thing. He has tried to make a few plans…a trip to my favorite swimming location, a small float down a nearby river…but no trips to my favorite river. None of my friends have money to make the trips and go camping with me. They only have money for one trip and have it planned so I’m just here. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just don’t know what to do! I hurt and nothing stops it! i just hurt so bad.

Secrets of Happy Couples

A friend sent me this and I decided I’d share it. She knows about my age gap relationship and also knows it can be hard because people don’t approve. We’ve discussed how it works for me and how happy I am and she agrees all the time that she can see it. She sent this to share, ways to keep us happy and I think we’re doing a pretty good job so far. The toughest part for us, is the comments and negativity from outside the relationship but we do out best to ignore it and move on. We both know why we’re in this relationship and it’s no one else’s business.

Secrets of Super-Happy Couples
Twelve ways to keep your relationship thriving.

1. Fall in love all over again. Make a conscious decision to be in love. The more you act as if you are in love, the more you will feel like you are.

2. Remember the good times. Treat your partner like you did at the beginning of your relationship. Make a list of all the things you used to enjoy doing together and add any new fantasies to the list. Plan for them and make them happen.

3. Help your partner feel more loved and secure in your love so that he or she can open up to you and express feelings and ideas without fear of being attacked or judged. Compliment, praise, give a hug. Small gestures make the grandest statements.

4. Don’t make unilateral decisions. You’re a team in many ways, so act like one. Check in and make decisions together about things large and small. Be willing to compromise.

5. Be present. Train your mind to stay in the moment — not at work, thinking about the new color you want to paint your kitchen, or how it’s time to take the dog to the vet.

6. Pay attention to your physical appearance. Take the time to stay in shape and look good for each other. It does matter.

7. Boost your compatibility. Couples in crisis focus on all the ways they are different, whereas those who are in love zero in on their similarities and think their differences are cute. Build compatibility by taking turns planning activities to do together. If you don’t like your partner’s choice, don’t complain; it’s your turn next.

8. Do not place blame. Replace blame and criticism with solutions and tenderness. Problem-solve together — sit close, hold hands, touch each other’s face or hair. Be playful. When was the last time you laughed together? Rent a comedy movie to tickle your funny bone.

9. Plan for sex. Spontaneity is great but smart couples know that good sex doesn’t just happen. Like everything else, it takes time and planning.

10. Fact-find — don’t mind-read. You may think you know but you can’t assume. You may believe he should know, but that’s not fair, either. Always clear up misinterpretations and misunderstandings to make sure they don’t throw you both off course.

11. Fight fair — and by appointment only. Schedule a limited time to discuss a problem and confine your comments to that issue only. It’s easier to relax and feel free to enjoy each other when you know you won’t be ambushed by a litany of complaints and criticisms.

12. Prepare for checkouts. Even in the closest marriage, everyone needs time alone. Don’t take it personally and don’t make each other feel guilty if you need to spiritually and emotionally regroup. Just be sure to tell each other when you are checking out (max, one day) — and when you’re checking back in.