30 Day Challenge: Day 2

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Day 2 and going strong. Time for 20 facts about me…try to keep up!

1. My mother was 8 months pregnant when she found out she was having twins (surprise!). She named me after the song she heard on the drive home, lucky baby number 1 right here.

2. My childhood was living hell (or at least close to it). My father physically beat me any chance he got, and as an added bonus I got to listen to him call me names and degrade me. My mother loved to remind me how worthless I am, how I will never amount to anything, and make me feel so helpless. Both my parents are extremely controlling, to the point where it effects my daily life, they literally scare me.

3. I LOVE my job and career, but I HATE the politics! So much so that I’ve considered finding a new career.

4. I hate our current president and his clan of mindless idiots. They are ruining this country and his damn color has nothing to do with it, he’s just an idiot! I think the government should be VOLUNTEER positions!

5. I own several handguns that are practically always on me. I will exercise the right to defend myself if you feel the need to threaten me. I pray I never need it, however I will if I have to.

6. I am currently working 7 jobs (yes SEVEN) just to stay afloat! This UNaffordable health care SHIT is drowning me! I can’t make ends meet anymore and it’s killing me.

7. If I could afford to go to school to be a doctor I would! I would love to be an ER doctor or something but I will never be able to afford that.

8. I really wanted to join the military after high school but a car accident paralyzed me from the waist down for several hours and due to a traumatic head injury I can’t even qualify for the National Guard. It hurts me bad that I could never join. I hate it.

9. I love taking pictures and share my work and sell some too. I just wish I had a job that supported more travel so I could get out and capture the world.

10. I am a loser. Between the 7 jobs and basic housework I have no life. Seriously it’s work and home, nothing else. I’m a loser.

11. I don’t drink. Ever. Not even a sip, I refuse to be like my parents. Because I don’t drink I’ll never find a guy, I hate clubs and bars so I’m “weird”…you know, the loser.

12. I made a promise to my man that I would “keep an open mind” at his request. I have always wanted kids and a family but he thinks I should have that with someone my age so we can “grow old together”. He wants me to keep an open mind to any guys out there, encourages me to date and meet new people, and wants nothing nothing more than me letting him know if I’m going on a date, and he wants nothing in return. He just wants me happy. But until someone comes along he is still my man and as much as I want that family, I’m in no rush to leave the man that treats me like a God. He is SO good to me!

13. My dog is my life. He is the only one that is always there for me, loves me no matter what, and has become my best friend. If a rare occasion comes that I’m off work, I don’t want to leave home because my furry buddy can’t go. We will literally lay in bed staring at the ceiling for hours just because I can’t leave him.

14. I love to geocache! It really sucks working so much, I wish I could go more. But what I really wish…I wish someone paid me to geocache and take pictures. How great would that be!

15. I have a horrible case of ADHD! It has been known my whole life. Teachers in school use to just send me off because I couldn’t sit still, never got written up, no suspensions, not detentions either but I literally skipped class all the time and barely ever did homework (between the beatings and the ADHD, I didn’t have time).

16. I can never sleep. Ever. It takes hours to fall asleep, I randomly wake up at all hours, and I always wake up before 6:30 for some reason. I am living in a constant stages of tired.

17. I love water! I am a strong swimmer. I can spend hours swimming and not tire out. I can tread water at the lake for hours and do laps too. I love to wakeboard and basically all things water.

18. I’ve thought about killing myself more times than I care to remember, and I still think about it often. I’ve tried a couple times but that was before I knew how. I never told anyone.

19. I live with migraines almost daily. I have “functioning” migraine, which basically means I can get up and still work, though it’s not easy. I am always in pain and it’s horrible.

20. One day, I will change the world. I don’t know how, but I will.

My Life in a Nutshell

Boy has life been busy! In the past 19 days I have worked 18 of them. Apparently everyone decided to give me shifts at the exact same time, then several people called for me to pick up shifts and stupid me couldn’t say no. But that’s ok, I have two days off, picked up another 3, then two more off. I need the money SO bad right now, I just have to deal with it. Fuck you Obamacare! You fucked me over royally! I hope you get impeached! You are by far the WORST President we have ever had! And NO, your color has nothing to do with it…you’re just a fucking idiot! There, I said it. And if you tell me I’m work, I have plenty of evidence to prove you wrong. You need to educated yourself.

Anyway, back to my life. So I’m keeping busy with work. Joys. I’m really looking forward to next weekend. My man and I are going on our little camping trip to get away and talk. He said he left like he did in hopes that I would find a “nice young man” to date. He said he loves me so much he wanted to do “what was best for me” but as we know, that wasn’t exactly what was best or how to handle it best. He’s back in my life because he realized it wasn’t the best for me, but he wants me to stay open to finding someone. I am really looking forward to this trip though, time to get away from this world!

This fall I am going to Michigan for my photography. My man is taking me, he wants to encourage my photography and he loves my work, so he is taking me up there to get some pictures he wants and is encouraging me to take many more while I am there. I’m really excited about this because we have some really nice locations planned and I’m ready to take some more pictures. It has been a while, I just haven’t felt like it really. So I’m ready to get out there and get some more. In a new place too! If I haven’t shared my photography page with you and you want to see it, please e-mail me or comment with your e-mail and I will share it. I have a Facebook page and Instagram too that I share my work on, some pictures can be ordered directly from a website too if you like the work. If you just want to see it and not buy it’s cool, I just like sharing my pictures.

Finally, despite working a million days in a row I am keeping up with the Geocaching challenge, I have 13 caches for the 13 days of August so far, how many have you gotten? It’s tough keeping up with working but I’m going strong!

Mini Escape

My man took me away for a mini vacation, to escape the hell I’m in, and boy am I glad he did! I needed this time away! Bad!

He has been treating me SO good! Taking care of everything for me. And even better…he surprised me with an hour long full body massage!! It was amazing! Just incredible! I am so freaking relaxed! And not ready to return to reality.

Back to Life

I’m alive, though I cannot say all is well. I’m fucking livid right now! But more on that later, first…vacation.

I love the mountains! And got my first snow fall in early! It was B-E-A-utiful! : ) I love the snow! Hate the cold, but love the snow! And hell, if it’s going to be cold, then it might as well snow, right? I really enjoyed my time away, sorry I was absent from here, I just took a break from every part of life and didn’t answer any texts, e-mails, or anything. Except of course those from my counsins and Rocks (you should feel special). I love going out there because everyone is so accepting of my man and I and they don’t care, they just think of us as “normal.”

The first night out we got in late, so we just sat around the house and didn’t do much. The second day there we did some shopping and hanging around during the day, then volunteered for an event in Longmount and I got some great pictures (which I promise to try to get up soon, those of you that know my photography page…well you get the lucky preview!). Then on Saturday my man and I got up early and headed into the mountains. If you don’t know, there is a fire burning in Rocky Mountain National Park, which is my favorite place to explore. In fact, the day after I left Colorado in October, this fire started, illegal camp fire, and it has burned about 3,000 acres and is still burning. Some of the places I got beautiful pictures last time are burned up and others I couldn’t even get to this time. It’s a shame, but fortunate that no one has been killed. Despite the fact that the forest needs a good burn every one and a while, it needs to be done naturally, not because some idiot can’t listen to fire bans!

On Sunday we just sat around the house mostly, wondered out for a short period, but it was too damn cold to do anything! It was a grand total of 7 degrees that morning! Ouch! Then Monday morning off to the airport bright and early with a grand total of 10 degrees. Holy crap! And I thought I was going to come home to warmer weather…it was a high of 32 the past two days…someone thaw me out please! The worst part about coming home, was the fact that I was coming home, but also that the damn airport seemed to have the freaking AC on! WTF?! Is all of Denver that crazy?? Despite the fact that my man was a little chilly, he put his coat on me because my skinny ass can’t handle the cold that much. Ha!

So now I’m back and fucking reality has kicked in and this morning I screamed, “Fuck the fucking fuckers!” (Pardon my language.) And before you ask…yes, I’m back at “hell” job today! Man this place just makes a person want to take a fucking gun to the head! (I won’t do that Rocks, I promise!!) There is just SO much lazy and stupid…it’s like in super excessiveness! I’m beyond pissed this morning! When I leave my house I turn my tone pager on, and for those of you that don’t know…it’s that annoying black box carried on the belt that loves to interrupt your meal, sleep, relaxations time, holidays, visits, etc.

I get in my car, start driving to work and notice how bright and beautiful the stars are, just like they were my first night in Colorado, the only night we had clear skies, and just like the morning I left there. It was just beautiful. Then that annoying black box interrupts my thoughts, normally not a big deal, however I notice that the truck that got dispatched is the one I am suppose to be driving three hours away to a factory for warranty and repair…that same fucking truck that this lazy fucking ex-Lieutenant was SUPPOSE to have out of service! The one I was suppose to leave with a fucking hour ago now! And to make matters worse, this new USELESS fucking “Chief” we have…the bitch sent me an e-mail that she is not picking me up, I have to wait for the truck…not fucking happening! I’m suppose to be at my other job this evening and I’m making the bitch drive to get me!

I’m just fucking pissed! That asshole KNEW I was taking the truck, he has TWO other’s available here that aren’t staffed, and he fucking took it on the call!!! And the worst fucking part…the dick takes THREE hours to run calls that shouldn’t take more than 1.5. He’s a fucking SLUG! I’m just so pissed off right now, I can’t even explain it! Back to fucking hell! So I’m making this useless ass bitch come get me AND take me back tomorrow! Here, allow me to share the e-mail I got at 10pm last night concerning the matter…and note that anything in ( ) are my thoughts and were added by me for your enjoyment.

Insert my name here,

I talked with “the guy that hates dealing with her” over at “said factory” yesterday and asked him if he absolutely needed me to accompany you tomorrow. He stated that he didn’t need me to be there since he already had the list of repairs (and because he knows how useless she is!) and you would be there to give further information if needed. I’m extremely confident with your knowledge of the vehicle that you can handle any questions that he may have. (That’s because you couldn’t and he contacted me about the truck!)

With all the issues I have that need to be addressed here at the office (which she isn’t doing shit about! I know for a fact because she passed my issue off!) and most of those needing some kind of computer access, which I do not have off site, I feel my time would be better served in the station. (Why? Not like the bitch does anything there!) Please make sure to monitor your time appropriately (which always included myself and the old Chief shopping, geocaching, and eating) and work with the techs at “said factory” to get as much done as possible within the time allowed.

Thank you,
“Your USELESS Chief”

So…in a couple hours, when I can FINALLY leave like I was suppose to do a long time ago, I’m going to drive all the way there, THEN make the bitch come get me! Then I’m going to make her fucking ass drive me back tomorrow to pick it up! Fucker! $20 says she won’t do it and will do anything to find someone else to…but I wouldn’t take that bet if I were you…you’ll lose, trust me.

I think what is making this day worse though is the fact that since I’ve returned my mother has turned back into the fucking bitch she’s always been! Man is she fucking moody! I guess the boyfriend she’s been trying to hide broke up with her…I don’t know and really don’t care. She loves hiding shit, just like the divorce, so I’m used to it and just don’t care any more. However, I don’t know why she’s got to be such a bitch. Complaining that I don’t pay enough bills and help out enough…I’m never home, always working…literally. I pay all my bills and plus some, I never make a mess and have been cleaning up after her drunk ass non-stop. I’m working FIVE jobs AND cleaning up after her…WTF more does she want?! She told me to expect to find my stuff outside one day…just great. Whatever. Maybe she should yell at my 22 year old brother that has NO job, has NEVER had a job, AND failed out of a community college! Just a thought…

Missing Colorado

…and I’m back. Hell starts tomorrow morning. FML! I will be posting pictures of my sights soon, just as soon as I’m done editing. I can’t wait to go back!! I’m missing it already!! So freaking bad! Feels like the vacation was too damn short. I’ve been asked to return in November…just hope I can afford it! Actually, I was told not to leave! lol My man’s friends just loves me!! That’s great that they all support us!

So Happy!

While on a wonderful vacation, with my wonderful man, taking wonderful pictures, I got a Facebook message…someone saw some senior pictures I did of a coworkers kid and they loved them so much they want me to do theirs! How cool is that!?! Kind of nerve racking because I’m new at the senior picture thing but I’m still super excited!

I haven’t set or determined prices, so any suggestions??? I’m not going to charge NEAR what some of these people do! And you can change outfits all you want because paying for more outfits is just crazy in my opinion!!! So, what should I charge? $100? $150? Should I charge less, do the developing and then increase the price by a certain percent on the pictures to make money too? I’m so new at this! But totally excited!!

Will have pictures up from my trip by Sunday…I hope! : ) Loving it here and so not ready to go home!!