When life is too much, just give it up.
Work has been pure hell, I was being tormented so much by my coworkers that I had seriously contemplated taking my life. My coworkers are pure evil, they are not nice people at all. And the worse part about it was most of my other coworkers knew I was being bullied, talked about me being bullied, but no one stood up for me. No one helped me, no one did anything for me, no one cared. Not one person spoke up for me. They all talked about it, they often came to me and said they knew I was being bullied, but they didn’t do a damn thing to help me.
Until this year. Nearly 7 years of hell and someone finally did something. They went about it all wrong, they handled it all wrong, but they went to the chief and told them I’m being bullied. Needless to say I got pulled into the office. I had no warning, didn’t know it was coming. Just all the sudden was being driven to headquarter and pulled into the office. I knew I was in trouble, and I wasn’t wrong. I got in trouble, threaten with a write up. Yes, you read that correctly. Bullied and told I’m being written up. Seriously, could things get any worse? Oh…yes they can. Because as I tried to deny it I had my private conversations read to me. Yes, my private conversations were read, word for word to me. Talk about a punch in the gut! Talk about being stabbed in the back! So I’m telling you now…if you think you have friends, you don’t. They will just betray you too.
Work is more lonely than ever. No one talks to me, I get avoided like the plague. People leave the room when I walk in, the avoid me at all cost. I can handle being ignored, I’m used to it. I’m used to being alone and completely ignored. But what is bothering me the most is that I didn’t cause this! I didn’t tattle! I didn’t rat anyone out! Even after I was caught I continue to deny and refused to give information. They had my private conversations already, but I refused to give more. But I’m being blamed anyway. There’s no protection. I will be treated like shit. I will be blamed. And I will continue to contemplate walking in front of the next semi that passes while working an accident on the highway. Nothing ever changes. My coworkers are evil, it’s in their nature to hurt, not heal.
I saw you recently and boy did that hurt. It hurt much worse than I expected. It hit me hard and it’s hit me hard every day since. It feels like the first day I couldn’t talk to you all over again. Boy do I miss you. I can’t explain it. I miss having that person I can talk to about anything. No subject was off limits and you spent more time trying to understand me than anyone.
You have no idea how much I wish, beg, and just hope for one last conversation. I never thought the day would come that I couldn’t talk to you anymore. I just want that friend back that was here for me for anything, always here to help me.
I miss you. And I’m still here waiting for you to decide to come back. I hope one day you decide to do better for yourself and treat yourself better because you deserve so much better than the situation you have put yourself in just like I have always told you. Take care of yourself.
I can’t take it anymore, I can’t keep fighting to live.
What caused this? What has made things worse?
My asshole coworkers. I work with the most evil of people that make me want to scoot myself just thinking about having to show up to work and see them. Then I spend hours with them and fight the urge to not jump from a moving vehicle or walk in front of a semi.
Instead of finding something constructive to do with their time these people sit there and make fun of others, tell lies just to get those they don’t like in trouble. And why don’t they like these people? Because they make them look bad. And what do these people do to make these jerks look bad? Literally nothing but do their job. They hate me because I make them look bad for simply doing the job I’m paid to do. That’s it, nothing more.
I literally think about killing myself because of the bullying they have come to, but they don’t care. They won’t stop, they won’t leave me alone. They hate me and won’t stop until I’m fired or dead. And at this rate one is about to come much sooner than later.
I lost my best friend, the only person I have in this world to talk to about anything. The person I could turn to for honest and solid advise. The only person that seemed to care.
Now I lost a job and am on the verge of losing another thanks to a bunch of backstabbing liars out to ruin lives to make themselves look good.
I honestly don’t know how much longer I should fight for this life.