I saw you recently and boy did that hurt. It hurt much worse than I expected. It hit me hard and it’s hit me hard every day since. It feels like the first day I couldn’t talk to you all over again. Boy do I miss you. I can’t explain it. I miss having that person I can talk to about anything. No subject was off limits and you spent more time trying to understand me than anyone.
You have no idea how much I wish, beg, and just hope for one last conversation. I never thought the day would come that I couldn’t talk to you anymore. I just want that friend back that was here for me for anything, always here to help me.
I miss you. And I’m still here waiting for you to decide to come back. I hope one day you decide to do better for yourself and treat yourself better because you deserve so much better than the situation you have put yourself in just like I have always told you. Take care of yourself.
I can’t take it anymore, I can’t keep fighting to live.
What caused this? What has made things worse?
My asshole coworkers. I work with the most evil of people that make me want to scoot myself just thinking about having to show up to work and see them. Then I spend hours with them and fight the urge to not jump from a moving vehicle or walk in front of a semi.
Instead of finding something constructive to do with their time these people sit there and make fun of others, tell lies just to get those they don’t like in trouble. And why don’t they like these people? Because they make them look bad. And what do these people do to make these jerks look bad? Literally nothing but do their job. They hate me because I make them look bad for simply doing the job I’m paid to do. That’s it, nothing more.
I literally think about killing myself because of the bullying they have come to, but they don’t care. They won’t stop, they won’t leave me alone. They hate me and won’t stop until I’m fired or dead. And at this rate one is about to come much sooner than later.
I lost my best friend, the only person I have in this world to talk to about anything. The person I could turn to for honest and solid advise. The only person that seemed to care.
Now I lost a job and am on the verge of losing another thanks to a bunch of backstabbing liars out to ruin lives to make themselves look good.
I honestly don’t know how much longer I should fight for this life.
I saw you recently and I can’t begin to tell you how much it hurt. It hurt being so close and not saying a word to you but I know it’s for the better.
I made a promise to you and I don’t know if I can keep it anymore. I’m hurting so much worse than I can bring myself to explain to anyone. You always understood and no matter how I felt I could talk to you. But I don’t have that option anymore. I’m here alone, with no where to turn.
Im begging and pleading for this life to end because I can’t do it myself. I can’t stay here. I just can’t. I’m ready for it to end. I can’t keep feeling all this hurt. Everyone hurts me. I hear the same lies and the same promises but in the end it’s always the same. I’m always alone and hurting with no where to turn.
I’m begging for it to stop. I’m pleading for this pain to go away. I can’t do it anymore.
Tonight I learned how insignificant I am to this world. If I’m gone it won’t matter. I can be replaced. Very easily replaced. In fact, no one will notice if I was gone unless they needed me to do something for them. No one cares what happens to me. If my so called “best friend” can walk away then so can everyone else. I mean nothing to this world.