The Forgotten One

I’m still here physically, not so sure about mentally. I want out, I want a break, I need to leave. I’m constantly getting passed up for full time work despite working my ass off every single day I am at work. I’m being passed up for other employees that are lazy as fuck and never even do their job, let alone any extra work like I often do. I love my job, absolutely love what I do. I fucking hate my coworkers and their laziness while they sit around and bitch. You have a full time job with benefits, shut the fuck up!

I’ve decided to return to school, which won’t be easy at all. I can’t afford it, and I definitely can’t afford to do it in classroom, I can’t take off work enough for that. But I’m scared about attending the classes online because I’m so dyslexic. I can’t read higher than a 3rd grade level, I’m not sure I can do online classes and actually pass.

I’m pretty good at many things and great at figuring out stuff myself, but unfortunately employers want an actual degree. I’ve been making some decent money doing side work and odd jobs but it’s just not enough. I wish I could afford to go into business for myself, I think I could do well at that but I just don’t have the money or the ability. I wish I could get paid to travel and take pictures. I just want to run away and live on a little island and not deal with people anymore. Who’s with me?

As for the rest of my life, I’m just living it. My family is on me about finding someone and settling down and having kids. Which is what I want to do, would love to do, but my generation SUCKS! They think the bar is a date and I don’t drink so that pretty much guarantees I’ll be single forever. My childhood taught me that I hate being around alochol and I’m not into the one night stand thing. That’s all they want, a nice one night stand, a fuck buddy and moving on. I’m just not into that, that’s not me at all. I want a relationship, a meaningful relationship, not a fuck buddy. Now, I’m not saying you can’t have one or if you have that it’s wrong, but it’s just not me.