Happy Halloween!

I’m sorry I have been absent, so much to say and no time to type it all out! Damn you ADHD! And fuck that doctor! I’m out of meds and it is totally ruining my life…I’m trying SO had to control myself and it is NOT working! I’m so frustrated! I want to control this better! And I’m coming down with a sore throat, it feels like I’ve been screaming for hours, I know it’s laryngitis, I’ve had it too many times to count. My chest has been hurting, feels tight, and I feel my heart hasn’t been beating right. I’ve had this before. My stomach hurts, I can’t eat. I don’t know what is causing all this stress. Money? Work? Life? My bitch mother? I just need a fucking break from everything!

Fuck the Doctor!

Recently I found out my ADHD doctor was switching locations, good! I never really cared for him but it’s who I’ve been seeing and the location was convenient, so him leaving gave me the reason I’d been avoiding to find a new doctor. I searched locations around me that accepted my insurance. Found a place with 6 doctors in it that wasn’t far away. And by that, I mean no more than 20 miles because around me there isn’t too much. So I figured cool, I’ll try there. They couldn’t get me in for several weeks, naturally. Everyone was busy. So today was the day for my appointment…and a big FUCK them!

3 hours….yes, you read that right, THREE HOURS past my appointment time I walked up to the counter and said, “this place is a fucking joke! I want my paperwork back and I will not be coming back!” They refused to give me my paperwork, so I walked out being sure the fucking door slammed on my way!

There were people walking in saying, “I was here for my appointment but had to leave, you can tell the doctor I’m back now.” And these people were getting in BEFORE those at their scheduled times! Are you joking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! I think doctors should be fucking fined for that shit!!!

I am completely pissed off! Not to mention tired and hungry. I haven’t eaten since 7am, which consisted of two pieces of bread. I haven’t slept either all thanks to hell job! Fuck, that’s a whole other story! So when 4pm rolled around, I had it! I was done! How the fuck do they find that shit acceptable!?! I went today to start with a new doctor, maybe change up my meds a little, but no! I left in tears from being so pissed off! So now the search begins for another doctor. I wasted my ONLY afternoon off! That really has me pissed! I am on day 7 of 23 days IN A ROW of work! I get more than a few hour off and these fucker ruined it! That place was a downright joke! It looked like the employees are patients, over medicating themselves! I’m just so pissed!

I’m taking as many benadryl’s as I can find and I’m going to sleep! I apologize that my first post back is like this. Take care, when I calm down and find some time I will be back. However, I will leave you on a funny note…