Listen To Your Heart

I know there’s something in the wake of your smile.
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yea.
You’ve built a love but that love falls apart,
Your little piece of heaven turns to dark.

Listen to your heart,
When he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart,
There’s nothing else you can do.

I don’t know where you’re going,
And I don’t know why,
But listen to your heart,
Before you tell him goodbye.

Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile.
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yea.
They’re swept away and nothing is what is seems,
The feeling of belonging to your dreams.

Listen to your heart,
When he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart,
There’s nothing else you can do.

I don’t know where you’re going,
And I don’t know why,
But listen to your heart,
Before you tell him goodbye.

And there are voices,
That want to be heard.
So much to mention,
But you can’t find the words.
The scent of magic,
The beauty that’s been,
When love was wilder than the wind.

Listen to your heart,
When he’s calling for you.
Listen to your heart,
There’s nothing else you can do.

I don’t know where you’re going,
And I don’t know why,
But listen to your heart,
Before you tell him goodbye.
Listen to your heart, mmm, mmmmmm.

I don’t know where you’re going,
And I don’t know why,
But listen to your heart,
Before you tell him goodbye.

Fuck You Family!!!

I’m fucking pissed! And I don’t care if this doesn’t seem like a big fucking deal to you, but you have NO idea what I go through!!! Don’t tell me to get over it!

The whole fucking family gets to celebrate Christmas tonight, everyone except me! They get to open their damn gifts I got them, while I sit at work. They get to have a nice home cooked meal while I enjoy my Ramon Noodles and McDonald’s. They get to enjoy theirselves while I’m busting my ass in the 18 degree weather getting paid 9 fucking dollars an hour! And I had ONE fucking request and they fucked me over again!!!

I asked someone to drive the 3 minutes out of their way to drop my gifts off, but no! The control bitch of a sister I have drove 20 MINUTES out of the way to drop the gifts at the house and said, “you can open them next week.” Are you fucking kidding me?!?!? You get to celebrate and open you shit tonight, then go out of your way to fuck me over some more?!? As if Chief Bitch hasn’t fucked me over enough!! Forcing me to work the holiday then giving me TWO 12 hour shifts for the ENTIRE MONTH of January when I was averaging 10-15 24 hour shifts a month!

So family and Bitch…FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!

Early Christmas!

Today was a pretty good day, minus the sinus infection I woke up with! I was stuck in hell with Chief Bitch but I spent as much time as possible avoiding her. In fact, I spent all day avoiding her! I spent the day with my man, except for the few calls we had. Since we both work the next couple days and aren’t sure we’ll actually be able to see each other on Christmas we decided to do gifts today, just in case. He loved his! I was so excited! And he was so surprised!

Last year for Christmas, my man got me and Xbox, which he refers to as my “therapy” device. I used Call of Duty to suppress my anger, boy does it help! After my brother moved in with my dad I was Xboxless and last year my man fixed that for me! I was SO happy! We this year he out did himself again!! While I was hiding out with him, he gave me one gift and told me to use it right away. Since I wasn’t feeling good at all, he knew this would help me and give me something to do…

IMG_2973Ted!!!! : ) I love that movie! It’s funny, sad, and just awesome! Back when my man and I first got together I hated the fact that he couldn’t hold me all night or stay, so he got me a teddy bear to keep with me. We named him Patches. Patches goes everywhere with me!! Even work…but shhh no one knows that! So since Patches came to work and we both went to hide out with my man, then opened this gift, Patches and I watch the movie…sort of. The sinus infection knocked me out for a while. But it was great, my man held me till I fell asleep and then took really good care of me when I woke up. I got very lucky and had just two calls for my truck so avoiding the station was easy.

After we got done with the movie he was too excited for me to wait for some of my other gifts, so he had me open the next one…

IMG_2974Currently we cache with my man’s older eTrex and love it! But it’s outdated, wasn’t designed for geocaching then and just slowed down, so he got me this one!! How cool!! I’m so excited! I had been looking at them for a while, considering it, but knew the one he has was fine for us. Well, he decided that I needed my very own for any adventures I go on and I was extremely surprised about it! I can’t wait to go out and use it!! If only it would freaking warm up here!

He also got me a Kinnect for my Xbox with the Harry Potter game! : ) I was so excited for that too!! I admit…I’m the Harry Potter generation!! And was so excited to see this game come out and even more excited when he picked it out all on his own for me!! He’s great to me!!

He came home with me tonight after work to take care of me, brought me food which I was unable to eat, and rubbed my back until I was calmed down and comfortable. Got me anything I needed and just sat here with me. God I wish he could stay with me! I hated seeing him go SO bad! It hurts! We just had a wonderful little Christmas to ourselves and he has to leave. It hurts so bad.

As for Christmas…every year I make my own cards, but this year I failed miserably because I just mailed them today! Between work, work, and more work I never got a chance to finish them until Wednesday, then Thursday we were so busy I never made it to the post office!! Oh well..I just hope everyone gets them at least by the day after at the latest. Here is a preview of my cards.

IMG_2964

Looking at this picture I realize my carpet looks like I haven’t vacuumed…ever. WTF?! I just did it right before this picture…guess I need to try again. I’m off to bed to try and recover from this infection some because my next day off is Christmas Day.

Oh, and Chief Bitch update…she refuses to talk to me, literally! I asked a question today and she ignored me!! Fucker! (Pardon my language) And she finally added me to the schedule…a whole fucking TWO days!!! I went from averaging 20 shifts a month to just TWO FUCKING shifts!!!!!! And it happened as soon as the bitch took over the fucking schedule because she just has to be in control of everything! Can I hit her?? That’s all I want for Christmas!

Snow!!

Snow! It’s snowing!!! This morning I left for work in a t-shirt…now it’s 27 degrees, so windy I can’t walk (let alone drive this ambulance), and SNOWING!!

I miss the magic snow had. Getting off school early. Playing in it till you’re past frozen.

I have had 4 major sledding accidents.

Number 1: Was sitting on a sled with my feet in front of me. We had a good two feet on the ground and the sledding paths were so deep you stayed on the path everyone created before you. I went down but got stuck. My neighbor didn’t see me stop and when he did it was too late. His sled nailed my lower back, then bent me forward and he went right up my back and got stuck on top of me. It hurt SO bad! I literally took my coat off and we packed snow on my back!

Number 2: We had a good layer of ice covered by a couple inches of snow. And by good layer of ice, I’m talking 2-3 inches of ice!! Well, was sledding again down a huge hill, hit the bump/jump, flew off the sled and my bad knee (the one I was hit by a jet ski with while I was on a jet ski) went straight thru the ice. It was so swollen and bruised!!! And about 30 mins after that I though it was be a good idea to get on a snowboard…wrong. Broke both my shins on a freaking pole!

Number 3: We had a giant tractor tire tube that we aired up and tied to the back of a 4-wheeler. It worked great! Until my uncle got carried away…he took the turn slow but gassed it in the end so I would fling around him. He didn’t see my idiot sister sitting where she was told not to be, I came around the turn and she stuck her feet out. Tube stopped. I did not. Head first into a big pile of freshly plowed ice and snow! Concussion. On Christmas Eve. Mom and dad wouldn’t take me to the ER, grandma drove me there.

Number 4: We have a HUGE, STEEP, LONG hill at one of the local schools. It’s a little bit of a dangerous drive, but when the roads are ok, the drive is well with this untouched, little known hill! Well, we thought it would be a great idea to have one person sit in a tube at the bottom, then another would come down the hill, full speed, on a sled and hit them. Great idea, right? Ha! I got volunteered to be first in the tube, while my uncle, who is literally 3 times my weight, went down the hill. I flew up in the air, came down on my head and was out cold! Best part…it’s all on tape!!! It looks painful! If I had witnessed that…we’ll I’d be telling the person not to move and calling an ambulance. Me? My mom told me to walk it off.

Those are the 4 worst incidents…that I can remember. I’m sure there are plenty more, in fact I know there are more, but they weren’t too bad. Just a few broken bones here and there.

Right To Work is a Rip Off??

If you live in the US and have no idea what I am talking about then I suggest you do a little extra research.

Unions.

At one point in time I believe they had a great purpose. Now…not so much! Some…yes. Others…no. They just charge crazy fees and do very little, if anything for you. I have seen some crazy shit by unions!

Want to know what failed the car companies? Unions! I went to school with a guy that was making $38 an HOUR to put a fucking bolt on a car! I can understand your union fighting for more pay but that is just ridiculous!

Something things are “ok” that they have done, but it’s freaking common sense! And I know, common sense isn’t all common…believe me, I know! But my local IAFF unions says if it’s over a certain heat index we don’t train outside…uh, duh! The bosses don’t make you go outside, there’s plenty to do inside…like EMS training which is 80% of what a firefighter is all about now days.

I wish I worked in a right to work state! The Union has done NOTHING for me, yet I have to continue to pay the idiots crazy fees and for what…? Nothing!

Unions need to be reformed! They need to actually do something…something good! Not just collect dues and sit on their ass. Oh, and a big thank you to the Hostess Union for your help! I understand “the CEOs need to give up their pay I we have to give up ours” and crap but really?! You’re getting an average of over $30/hour to stand on a line!! Now you have no job…congratulation…