Damn This Hearing

And it strikes again! Some days I really hate the fact that I have excellent hearing and can focus on several things at once, especially conservations. A little update on life at the residence before the story begins…

My brother moved out, but just to our dad’s. Since he has  no job and failed out of community college, he can’t go anywhere but from one home to the other. Dad bribed him of course, offered to buy him a new bigger bed and a better tv if he moved in. Of course my brother took it, why wouldn’t he? It also means he gets away from mom who was pushing him for a job, where dad won’t do that. He also won’t be forced into going back to school.

Part of me is glad he’s gone, the other part…not so much. It’s weird, this entire divorce thing is so weird. I’m used to a house full of people, anywhere from 5-7, maybe more…just people everywhere. Now it’s empty, just myself and the dogs and from time to time my mother. I feel lost. I’m used to a full house. And my mother is driving me nuts because her baby boy isn’t here to bug anymore. My chores have doubled and she always wants me home. She’s finally “trying” to be a mother, but it’s a little too late. I’m an adult now, she should have tried before.

Now that her baby boy isn’t around to take to dinner all the time, she’s bugging me. I finally decided to go to dinner with her the other night and that’s when my damn ears ruined that night. I was chatting with a friend that had called while we waited for our food and my mom was talking to her friend and I overheard the conservation. Apparently the only reason she stayed with my dad for so long was because she didn’t want to have to deal with child custody. So she ruined my life more for her own selfish reasons. She made the decision 15 years ago according to her that as soon as my brother turned 18, the divorce was on. Wonderful.

Here’s a little tip…staying together is usually the WORST decision you could have made for your child! I went through hell and back because they “stayed together”! I used to cry myself to sleep at night just begging God to have them divorce. I just wanted to vanish so bad. I hated life more than anything. I think my life would have been way better had they divorced years ago. I just hope I can make a life for my family that I always wanted growing up. I want to push past my childhood and have a happy adulthood. My only dream growing up was to be loved and happy.

One response to “Damn This Hearing

  1. OMG…..I was about to make a post about this!!! I’ve never been married nor do I have kids but listening and observing tells a lot. I believe in everything you said 🙂

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